Went to introduce myself at a company this morning. I can do a day trial work there next week. π Still not totally sure if it is going to work because she said she has some doubts but she trusted it enough to let me try. I would doubt me too, my energy is doubtful so… that would statement would exactly be a reflection of the situation.
So…. it is eh, strange. Trying to tame the anxiety upfront while biking there. Realising that ‘What I can do with fear, I can also do without fear.’ I also wondered: wwawwlhd? and I decided she would not berate herself for being 10 minutes later to an appointment which was not set anyhow. It was totally a cold call. Also, upon arriving at the venue I felt I was not confident enough so after asking wwawwlhd? I realised that I needed some time to cool down so I entered the 2nd hand bookstore next door. (YES! They are EVERYWHERE!!! ;-))
And then I dared and thought: A women who loved herself would present herself with confidence, not be too assertive but still leave an impression. AND she would not be berating herself if she got no for an answer. She would be disappointed, she would try to work out why, but she would not take it so personally that she did not like herself anymore.
We had a 15 minutes talk. If all goes as I hope I can come to work next Tuesday. It is a 3-4 days job with possible extra time to come. It is at a firm I really appreciate for their efforts to improve the environment. If I am going to do simple work, which is all I feel up to now, I might as well do it where I agree with the company’s policy. π I hope it will work out.
After the interview I biked to the give away store to read a book outside in the beautiful nature there but I got to speak with a women who has ADHD and is bipolar. That was sort of a match/mirror for all the flying feelings I had. π
Let’s see what the future brings. I still have this feeling that she can mail and say she changed her mind. But we will see. I will write here a letter of motivation now. Yes, that would be the other way around :-). That is ok.
xx, Feeling
I love this outlook. I learned the “what would a person who loved themself say/do” question earlier this year and I dont use it nearly as much as I should. thanks for the reminder. β‘ sending good luck to you as well!
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I had not heard of it but I got my rock bottom experience feeling wise where I found that everything depends on me not loving me. So now I am practicing it and find it helpful! π HAPPY! π
My energy is not so alligned with the rest of the world yet. 
The good luck must have worked because I can work one day as a trial at a company. Not sure if I will be having a job then or will have broken the record of getting ‘fired’ even quicker than 2,5 days as I did the last time
xx, Feeling
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Oh Feeling!
I have my fingers crossed for you!
I sure understand the energy thing.
I am trying “act as if”β¦I had energy.
Not working today, but then I ‘am acting as if’ I was a slug!
XO
Wendy
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Thank you, let’s see how this works out. I don’t think I will tell anybody here apart from 1 friend. I just don’t, I don’t know, eh… it is scary. π
Hope you find your energy back soon. π
xx, Feeling
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Bravo feeling! Slowly slowly catchy monkey π
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Thank you. I am not trusting it yet but yes, it is a step forward. π
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What a great idea! Loving ourselves can be the biggest challenge so many days of so many weeks. It sounds like an awesome outcome! So happy for you and so proud of the action you took. Yow!
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Yeah, it is a wonderful tool to use. It really got me going places and doing stuff and leaving out all the blaming over the things I did not do. Gone are the ‘shoulds’! Let us see how this develops! π
xx, Feeling
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Gone are the ‘shoulds’!!! Awesome.*
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Yes!!!
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“Gone are the shoulds!” That’s a brilliant sentence Feeling. Good luck x.
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Thank you! I’m really enjoying this. For the first time in a long time I am just content with what I do. π
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Wonderful news Feeling! I have fingers and toes crossed for you! it is amazing what a shift in thinking can do. You should be proud of your efforts. x
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Yes, this shift in thinking. It is so obvious but so difficult and then so easy when the time is there. Actually very much like quitting drinking.
xx, Feeling
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Exactly! It takes a conscious effort but the effort is worth it
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Yes!
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