I have a neighbour, she is wildly fantastic but she drinks like crazy. I am afraid I can say her out of touch drinking actually kept me going too because ‘she was really addicted’ and ‘in comparison I am pretty much ok’. And STILL I have the urge to tell you how much she drank and how this was x more than I did.
This morning at 12:00 she came up the stairs telling me my cat wanted to get inside. She had already been drinking then and stumbling over her tongue. 2 Hours later I had to return some borrowed tools to her boyfriend and we ended up talking like we used to do. We look a lot alike: very open, on the surface there is not a lot to hide. We came to speak about drinking, she knew from drunk nights years ago that I thought I had to quit. And she knew that I had quit so now she asked me how long I had not been drinking. I replied that this was more than 2 years. She’s a party girl so she thinks life without drinking is very boring. I don’t know, it can be for her. I told her that I actually enjoy my life way better and that the more intense experiences and better and opener contact I have with friends and family help me in life. It makes me feel better.
Dunno, we spoke, she told what bothered her, I spoke of the ‘door to Lalaland’ of which we had broken the hinged by overusing the door. She liked that. I guess by now I realise that I should have listened more to her worries about not drinking. I did not push anything on her. By now I know that people only quit when it is their time. The best friend of her boyfriend died last week age 40 because of an acute liver failure. They process this by drinking. I would have. I am happy that I do not do this anymore.
Well, to me I am VERY HAPPY that I did not in one second feel the urge to convert her and for me that is a BIG win. 🙂 I guess for the world too. 🙂
Currently staying up late because I don’t want to go to bed because I don’t want to have to deal with tomorrow. Tomorrow brings a day where I need to de prep work for the tax check on my admin over the year 2014. 🙂 These inability to deal with adult issues. Ghegheghe. Well, I did make some improvement because over the last 2 weeks I have been meditating every morning for about 20 minutes and today I even did some yoga. That has been ages ago. And… surprise: I felt SO MUCH better. Just some easy bends and stretches, nothing fancy but very good. And a little confronting to realise how much I have let myself go. I have built up a lot of muscle in my former job but only legs, back, shoulders and arms. I did let my belly go. 🙂 So belly practice it is.
Ooh, you won’t believe what relieve I feel over actually having a job. And OBVIOUSLY I would not be me if I did not go out to spoil that relieve by saying ‘its not signed yet’. While meditating in the morning these thought obviously come up and then I let them go. As one yoga teacher once said: “Like ships on the horizon: you watch them but do not get attached, they show up and they disappear and it has nothing to do with you.” I think learning to do this is an important ability in life. This is how I dealt with cravings and how I looked at the different types of traps which could lead to drinking when reading the Jason Vale book on quitting drinking. Read the text and feel where it connects to me. Not sure how to explain that well. Anyway, I feel the meditating makes me more stable and less rollercoaster. Why did I not do this before??
Ok, bedtime. 🙂 I wish you a beautiful sober week filled with experiences which help you along on your path. I am very happy that I quit.
I am thankful for; my body which responds so clearly and joyfully to some yoga action, which, while walking in the supermarket now tells me very clearly what supermarket racks not to even go to because it only shelves rubbish food and which houses my soul in this world. Not sure why yet but I guess that it is good and there because it so. 🙂
No spellcheck. Off to bed here.