Spoke with my neigbour on drinking

I have a neighbour, she is wildly fantastic but she drinks like crazy. I am afraid I can say her out of touch drinking actually kept me going too because ‘she was really addicted’ and ‘in comparison I am pretty much ok’. And STILL I have the urge to tell you how much she drank and how this was x more than I did. :-/

This morning at 12:00 she came up the stairs telling me my cat wanted to get inside. She had already been drinking then and stumbling over her tongue. 2 Hours later I had to return some borrowed tools to her boyfriend and we ended up talking like we used to do. We look a lot alike: very open, on the surface there is not a lot to hide. We came to speak about drinking, she knew from drunk nights years ago that I thought I had to quit. And she knew that I had quit so now she asked me how long I had not been drinking. I replied that this was more than 2 years. She’s a party girl so she thinks life without drinking is very boring. I don’t know, it can be for her. I told her that I actually enjoy my life way better and that the more intense experiences and better and opener contact I have with friends and family help me in life. It makes me feel better.

Dunno, we spoke, she told what bothered her, I spoke of the ‘door to Lalaland’ of which we had broken the hinged by overusing the door. She liked that. I guess by now I realise that I should have listened more to her worries about not drinking. I did not push anything on her. By now I know that people only quit when it is their time. The best friend of her boyfriend died last week age 40 because of an acute liver failure. They process this by drinking. I would have. I am happy that I do not do this anymore.

Well, to me I am VERY HAPPY that I did not in one second feel the urge to convert her and for me that is a BIG win. 🙂 I guess for the world too. 🙂

Currently staying up late because I don’t want to go to bed because I don’t want to have to deal with tomorrow. Tomorrow brings a day where I need to de prep work for the tax check on my admin over the year 2014. 🙂 These inability to deal with adult issues. Ghegheghe. Well, I did make some improvement because over the last 2 weeks I have been meditating every morning for about 20 minutes and today I even did some yoga. That has been ages ago. And… surprise: I felt SO MUCH better. Just some easy bends and stretches, nothing fancy but very good. And a little confronting to realise how much I have let myself go. I have built up a lot of muscle in my former job but only legs, back, shoulders and arms. I did let my belly go. 🙂 So belly practice it is.

Ooh, you won’t believe what relieve I feel over actually having a job. And OBVIOUSLY I would not be me if I did not go out to spoil that relieve by saying ‘its not signed yet’. While meditating in the morning these thought obviously come up and then I let them go. As one yoga teacher once said: “Like ships on the horizon: you watch them but do not get attached, they show up and they disappear and it has nothing to do with you.” I think learning to do this is an important ability in life. This is how I dealt with cravings and how I looked at the different types of traps which could lead to drinking when reading the Jason Vale book on quitting drinking. Read the text and feel where it connects to me. Not sure how to explain that well. Anyway, I feel the meditating makes me more stable and less rollercoaster. Why did I not do this before??

Ok, bedtime. 🙂 I wish you a beautiful sober week filled with experiences which help you along on your path. I am very happy that I quit.

I am thankful for; my body which responds so clearly and joyfully to some yoga action, which, while walking in the supermarket now tells me very clearly what supermarket racks not to even go to because it only shelves rubbish food and which houses my soul in this world. Not sure why yet but I guess that it is good and there because it so. 🙂

No spellcheck. Off to bed here.

xx, Feeling

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11 thoughts on “Spoke with my neigbour on drinking

  1. I think you are so right in terms of your neighbor and drinking.
    If she wants to quit, she will start to seek.
    Bravo to mediation and yoga!
    I sure wish I could decide to meditate again. It really did make me calmer!
    Have a lovely sober week, too!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Wendy,
      Yes to the knowing how to take care but not doing it. We quit at about the same moment in time, say 27 months ago and it took me this long to actually start meditating while it has been on my mind almost daily. But, gheghe, a woman who loves herself does what she can and is ok with what she can not. 🙂 Till it starts to itch. 🙂
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it is a sign of maturity and respect when we do not feel the need to preach to everyone! I am not quite there yet. I am still dealing with the newness of sobriety. I want to tell everyone how disgusting alcohol is but at the same time crave it badly myself. What a hypocrite! I hope the tax goes well for you. I hate adult problems like that. Money and me do not go well together.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yes I agree with Wendy well done on meditation and yoga! I’m so happy about your job, really good to have new things on the horizon. There is one friend I have that I know has a massive problem. I’ve been wanting to tell her that if she ever wants to talk about it I’ll be here. I havent spoken to her yet though. I am a bit evangelical about sobriety maybe a bit too much:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gheghe, yeah, evangelic, I recognise that in being sober. For me it can be a real trap. Helping people can have a nasty side to it, it is a bit of a mathematical approach to behaviour but it goes like this: If I say ‘This person is in trouble and I will help him/her.’ I also say: they can not do what I can do, ergo: I am better than them. That is a tricky one to work out. I notice whenever I get irritated by somebody and I move in to ‘help’ I am in the danger zone of not being truthful to myself, that mainly results in being untruthful to others :-(. So yeah, helping. Difficult. 🙂 No matter how badly I want to pull people out of the mud I have been in too. 🙂 I’m guessing in the end it comes down to: if I want to change the world, I really need to start with myself. Well, working on it. 🙂
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sounds like some good stuff is on your horizon…so happy for you. And you’ve given me something to think about in my alcohol-free journey here as far as accepting the choices of others rather than actively trying to change them. It’s probably best to be an example to others and be there for them when they need us.
    Good luck in your new job feeling!
    Jenn

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! And yes, well, would you have quit if ‘somebody’ had asked? I am afraid I myself am one of the worse examples here. My mother asked me to take it easy on the beer on her deathbed. 7 Minutes later she was gone. I got irritated about it, brushed it off and it took me I believe 7 years to finally stop. Her request also made me feel guilty and being an addict I took that as a reason to actually drink more. 😦 😦
      Pfew. I am happy that I quit. At least I do not have to add anymore to that insane way of living. I am still searching for how and when and what but happy that I quit.
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It is so weird this being the sober one. The last time I was the sober one I wasn’t aware of it because I had never been the drunk. Drunk, yes. THE drunk, no. Now I notice how much other people drink and I wonder why they drink so much. And I notice that being sober makes some people suspicious. And then I wonder what their damage is that sober people make them uncomfortable. But thus far all I do is tell people how much better I feel not drinking. I think it is one of those “you have arrived at adulthood” things when you can be supportive without giving directives.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a nice one: “you have arrived at adulthood”. 🙂 I need to practise the not giving directives. It’s a tough one for me because next to being an awfull ‘know it all’ I can be a real good teacher and trainer of people. Always get ‘high grades’ on that in jobs and consultancy. Guessing everything in sobriety has to do with learning to be moderate in things. 🙂
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

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