Guess who has got a new job….

Hello! Got a new job! πŸ™‚ Starting next Thursday! Not signed yet but we shook hands on it. It is a function in quality assurance and more at my educational level, more of an office job but in the same production environment where I came from. And it is in a company where I want to work because of their environmentally sound production. Also it is a 30 minutes bike ride away which is very good for me and it pays about 1/4 more than the last job which is nice too. The company is looking to implement some new procedures for certifications and the follow-up of those procedures needs to be implemented and ensured.

I am moderately excited, mostly rather perplexed about the course my life is taking ‘spontaneously’. Some astrology guy told me about a year ago that astrology wise my life is repeating itself in a 30 year cycle now. And that is exactly what it is doing. My former job is almost the same job as I had 30 years ago. This job is almost the same job as I had after that and I was not even looking for it, he just proposed this when I did an open job interview. It is so strange. Sort of feels unreal. And I am also scared; what if the people do not like me, not follow procedures? But then again: I need to read back at how scared I was when starting in my former job and see how that was. πŸ™‚ I just need to take my time I guess, take good care of me.

worrying

Since my last post I have been starting the day with meditation and that is GOOD. Also I have physiotherapy for/against the tension headaches which followed the concussion. That is good too.

I am enjoying the idea of having money to be able to have holiday some day. Already the idea of being able to stay to live here is good and not having to go hungry like a friend of mine did. Yes we have government support but that does not count for people who also have a company, even though that company is only there on paper. And maybe I can continue with Ayurvedic treatment! I found that my grey hairs are dark brown over the period that I took the ayurvedic pills. Now I am not vain, but whaaaaaaa! Ok, yes I am a little vain. Love my half dark brown, half white hair but full brown naturally is better. πŸ™‚ Not sure if full recovery is possible but I can try. Ayurveda is very good at rejuvenating all processes in the body. And I am always scared (there is that word again) that the early greying is a sign of getting old quickly. Though it is not visible in my skin.

The meditating I makes me very much aware of all the processes going on in my body. What I try to do is to sit back and just be. And then life happens and I start to feel a pain, or worry about something and I try to not be involved but just look at it with detachment, like ships at sea. It is very informative and it gives a lot of rest. My brain really needs it. And I notice with paying attention to the frenzy of feeling this or that, it gets worse. I noticed that some stuff, like worrying, can very well be ignored too. Even better. Taking care and taking precautions is good, worrying is useless.

Side effects are: better breathing and also less Facebooking and more doing. One moment I just woke up inside, looked at FB and thought: “What the hell am I doing here, this SUCKS energy and it brings me nothing!” It is not like ‘all my friends’ are on there. They are not, a lot of people have backed away from FB and the younger ones continue with combinations of Whatsapp, Snapchat and Instagram.

Once, in a ayahuasca ceremony I asked my ayahuasca spirit what I would need to do workwise in the future. She said: “That is not important, the only thing you need to do is to get clear.” And I guess that is what it is. Meditate, get untangle from all the things calling me like beer used to do. Untangle from all the emotions sending me in all kinds of states. UntangleΒ  Hmm, well, got a whole life ahead of me. πŸ™‚

I am happy that I quit. πŸ™‚ Hope you are too. I’m off to the supermarket for some partyfood. πŸ™‚

xx, F.

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17 thoughts on “Guess who has got a new job….

  1. Congrats! I am happy for you! And excited to hear about how the new job progresses.
    My hair has been grey for years, but I colour it. I’m not ready to be grey yet!
    I love your quote. Just today I told someone worrying is praying for what you don’t want.
    I try hard to bring myself back to the now. To be here now (thanks Ram Das)

    It works. One step at a time.
    Yay!
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I am excited to start!
      And yes, the colouring, well, I let it go when I turned sober. For me it is a good reminder to be true to me because I was disliking the chemicals already. πŸ™‚
      And yes, one step at the time. πŸ™‚ Happy here with my next step πŸ™‚
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, Feeling!! Congratulations on your new job AND I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN FOR YOU!!
    My hair is also gray mixed with ugly brown so I dye it and I haven’t actually seen the real color since I was 14. I think I grew it out once in my 30’s and thought, “nope, still ugly”. I have a pact with friends that, should we die, we will be responsible for the touch-up of roots before the funeral. ANYWAYYYYY, yay for you. Good things are coming your way, just let them. :)))

    Like

  3. Wonderful news Feeling! It sounds great and the start of something new and exciting, more challenges, new people.
    I’m loving the idea of getting clear – that speaks to my soul. I need clarity too…

    xxx Claire

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! πŸ™‚ And to clarity, yes, important. I guess my drinking aimed at not feeling and not being clear about stuff, that would be my favorite way to pass the time. If I want to reverse/mend/whatever the addictive character I have I think I should learn to really feel and be clear. That would be my life’s goal. πŸ™‚ Be clear. No more old issues between me and the world, no more hiding, no more diverting, no more building smoke screens. Hope I get there, working on it. πŸ™‚
      xx, Feeling

      Like

      • Me too. Distraction and avoidance are strong in this one! I hope you get there too! Will watch with interest πŸ™‚ xxx

        Liked by 1 person

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