Found this site with free non-mainstream movies and documentaries. It has a few on addiction like this one. Not going to watch those, I’m going for the movies on healing now. Need to.
Last night Brad Clark from ‘The story of my life‘, age 20, indicated that he wrote is last post after being about 2 months clean. Days earlier he said goodbye to his family and friend and went back to use crack. Not sure if he has ‘just’ stopped blogging or gave it all up. Brad, if you are out there, please let me know.
What are we doing to our children? Feeling frustration, anger, despair, powerless. Sad, so sad.
And from there on: I need to sort my own life out otherwise I end up on the streets just as Brad. Sobriety is not a game.
I want: this world to be a different, better place with less pain. What are we doing to our children? What are we doing to ourselves?
I need: to sort my own stuff out. That’s it. That’s all I can do. And it is enough for a lifetime which frustrates me. But I guess I am learning to mind my own business, literally. Finding my own shape within my own smaller boundaries instead of being unclear in a way bigger area – if that makes sense. It feels like that is part of the path now.
I am happy that I quit. Thankful for my mother who warned me at a very early age NEVER to start drinking liquor. Thankful to myself for taking that advice. Brad was fed methadone by his father so he would shut up. He was 10 years old. And, well, apart from some legal issues: is this not exactly what we do to ourselves when we drink or use?
Gonna leave it at this. Need to do stuff. Take care of me.