A normal day. Went out for breakfast with friends and continued on a bike tour through the city, visiting monuments that were open for the weekend. 5 Girls, one guy, loads of laughs, beautiful things to see, good and happy fun. Did spread a few semi lies about me getting sober because alcohol depresses me but nobody actually minds that I quit. Most of these people don’t drink regularly and everybody knows me for having the weirdest food cravings and sudden dislikes anyway so…
Went home at 18:00 ish, so that was a full day out being social, actually organised the stuff so that was a good thing to practise with power and letting go. Or maybe I should not have organised if I had let go ;-). I had asked up front what people wanted to see and marked this down on the map. During breakfast we discussed and prioritized.
In the mails upfront I had asked people to bring a bunch of parsley to the trip. I usually put strange stuff in organisational mails for fun and I noticed it makes people react quicker so I don’t have to send reminders. Everybody reacted quickly on the parsley and also on the reservations for breakfast and their favourites so that worked. Nobody got parsley of course but one friend brought a potato that I graciously accepted. So when it was time to go I held it up high imitating a tour guide and said ‘follow the potato’ in my best tour guide voice.
We biked through town and whenever somebody wanted something different from the plan, or take another route they got the potato and we ‘followed the potato’. It was idiotic but the funny thing was that I really noticed what happened if somebody wanted to take over and how I reacted to that. That was informative and funny. And the good thing from this group of friends is that they can ‘carry’ the potato. If they want something, they take the potato and do it and nobody argues or even doubts what they do because ‘they have the potato’. It is just an ongoing joke but there is importance in it for me. Also because of the weight that fell of my shoulders every time somebody else got the potato. It made me realise what I ask of myself and what it takes. And… they know me, they know that I am a control freak so I guessed they played the game too because they (sub)consciously know that there is some truth in it. One friend advised me to become a tour guide because ‘You have been working on all kinds of things but this is one of the things that just comes most natural to you.’
At the end of the day there was one moment of ‘Huh?! Ooh yeah, I’m not drinking, hmmm’ when we set down on a terrace. I did notice a little disappointment in me. Funny thing was that drinking for me is a hidden thing, I did that on my own at home so I didn’t ruin relations and hurt other people with being drunk. I had not envisioned yet that the beer on the terrace was enclosed in the deal too. :-D. Just when you think you’ve got it all worked out…. 🙂 I gathered that wanting to drink was a sign that I was tired and wanted to block out. We had some lovely ginger ale (that’s a soda for those that are not familiar with it) and then it was time to go home for a nice cup of tea.
It is actually strange to write this potato story down. Yes, more weird that writing about physical changes about breasts and urine.
Tired now. Let’s see what the next week brings.
Happy that I quit and proud of it.