HP isn’t Harry Potter (or Hardcore Porn for that matter)

Sitting in the sun, drinking a vegetable juice and tea, reading Nakken. Yes, still there. Got a little stuck on this higher power thing. Still don’t get it, I find that his writing has suddenly become too condensed and I miss sentences that connect the one to the other. I’m not getting the meaning. ‘So the addict can learn that he is as powerless to drink as he is to the higher power.’ (Don’t shorten that to HP). I don’t get that. My higher power is the natural order of things. Amongst others this include the cycle of life, includes natural laws of interacting and includes (working towards a fully) ecological life. And I would love to be able to live in sync with that. And even though I have done it, I know I cannot fight the natural power; if I eat and drink and live unhealthy, I become unhealthy and miserable. Maybe there’s the point: I know but I don’t/didn’t adjust. Hmmm.

To continue the ranting : I know I have been powerless towards booze and then I turned the tables and now I don’t drink anymore*. But being powerless towards what is good and towards what is bad, I just can’t put these on the same level in my head. And, all in all it looks like it was a mindset that I was powerless towards booze because I used my Initiative and brain and natural need for goodness to ditch it. Isn’t that power as well? Isn’t that the power nature has given us to do good? So how powerless am I? Anybody?

What is ‘left’ of my addiction is the feeling that I (for now?) change from living in the booze to living in the blog. And…. I still need to take some action on the financial and work level. Remember these bills from 2 weeks ago? Still have not been paid. So maybe, maybe, maybe, also following the post from A Hangover Free Life I could use my newly developed skills about stopping with drinking to get some stuff done and organise my life.

Don’t know what about the blog yet. But that’s not the most important thing. Actually, it is important that I stay here and develop.

* And yes, having done some study I guess there will be moments in my life where I’m gonna be craving a lot, so I might as well learn some stuff about addiction to make sure that I don’t fall into the addiction trap again. But hey, I’m not craving now so, why worry NOW? Just study, see what comes up. And constant vigilance, constant vigilance, so maybe this is a Harry Potter story after all.

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