Secrets, secrets

In the series: how is addiction still affecting your life? Episode 12: When I started blogging there I deleted the part where you as a reader can see where I leave comments for other people. I did that because I was ashamed that I was / am online so much.

After reading Goodbye Vodka’s post of today I realised that, with that, I do exactly the same as I did when drinking: not picking up the phone and no Facebook after 2 beers. Hiding because I am ashamed. So I’ve put it back as an experiment. I feel now that I can not make promises here because I do not trust myself in this and I don’t want to have to force me into something I can’t hold on to.

Or is that stupid? Don’t know yet. I need to temper my online time, and I am doing that. Hey! I actually wrote a letter of application this morning! But now I sound like this kid that is trying to make sure he does not have a problem.

Well. Let’s see. And jeeeeeez, this feels awkward and vulnerable.