The future of healing conference is on sex today

Dear all,

The free online conference on health has a the subject of sex today. Thought you might want to know since it is one of the funny things after getting sober. Sign up here.

This is todays programme:

  • 12:00 (EST) – Dr. Sara GottfriedSexuality and The Hormone Reset Diet
  • 12:30 (EST) – Dr. Madeleine CastellanosA Doctor Looks at Sexual Health
  • 1:00 (EST) – Psalm IsadoraPractical Insights into Sexual Transformation
  • 1:30 (EST) – Destin GerekEnding the Battle of the Sexes
  • 2:00 (EST) – Dr. Jen LandaWomen, Hormones and Sex
  • 2:30 (EST) – Veronica MonetA Deeper Dive Into Sexuality and Partnership
  • 3:00 (EST) – Sol SebastianMen, Sex and Power
  • 3:30 (EST) – Jessica DrummondWomen and Pelvic Health
  • 4:00 (EST) – Mantak Chia – The Healing Tao and Sexuality

Hope it brings you something :-).

xx, Feeling

Something between whaahaaaa and wheeheeeee and a new time

Oooh, I just got invited for the second job interview as a follow-up from the last. ‘You are our best option.’ย  Not sure if that is a compliment but I’ll take it as such. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

Now what? My wish to the universe was indeed a second interview. And I’m currently in the phase of trying to not pay attention to the thought that it would be real strange in this times that I would get a job with the first letter I have sent out after years and years. And now it is actually good that my friends are all in the same line of work because I can check what salary would be ok to ask for. ๐Ÿ™‚

Hmmm, suddenly I feel funny about all the time I wasted lately. ๐Ÿ˜€ Processes, processes. Ghegheghe. I need to start to believe that I can be happy workwise and that life can be simple. And it is a part-time job so plenty of time to continue the self-help I’m doing now.

This morning I started off with the routine from Donna Eden that I posted yesterday. It feels like it works. I feel more energetic. But that could also be so because I actually did something instead of nothing. Not sure. I’m interested in her way of seeing the world and health and she’s very happy so she must know stuff that other people don’t know. ;-). It is now 4 hours later and I have been watching a lot of her video’s on YouTube. It is AMAZING what she teaches. And the hippo says ‘Yeah! Finally!!’. I guess there must be something in this for me. It combines very nicely with the haptic body work I have been doing years ago. I have done one of the tests with the arm out myself earlier and I know it works exactly as you see it. It is not a scam. I’m gonna get all my girlfriends together and test this out! Wonderful ๐Ÿ™‚ Makes me happy. ๐Ÿ™‚ It feels as if today I have reached some end point and a new time is approaching. Well, meteorological (is that the word or a word at all?) spring started yesterday so maybe I’m perfectly in sync.

I am happy that I quit drinking alcohol. Thankful to GP1 who so clearly showed me what clarity looked like, thankful for the people at the programme who, by listening without judgement, allowed me to -instead of fight with my self-loathing- come to the point where I could find the love and energy I needed to quit. โคย  โคย  โค

There are a few things I want to quit doing now too, I think, not sure, letting go is difficult but it is becoming an option… hmmm, those are tapping words. Hmm….. I would like to be able to give up negative thinking but truth be said: I still don’t feel like I have the energy to stop it like I quit drinking. I just want things to be easy. Not sure why, if I zoom into that I feel overwhelmed and tired and hopeless. Hmm, lets tap on that :-D. Negativity, I have been looking into that ever since I got out of the alcohol prison and today again it pops up, of course because of a new situation. It is still my primary reaction.

Yesterday I actually did some meditation and ‘the voice’ in my head said: ‘You need to stop taking care of others.’ Funny because in daily people judgement this is counter intuitive but I feel it is true in the sense that I tend to meddle, that is the part where the care giver misunderstands ‘taking care’. Not sure how to deal with that yet. I guess it is the next big thing now next to being positive.

I want: a tremendous salary, free-floating hours and wonderful colleagues, work that makes me excited.

I need: don’t know yet, admin again. :-(, cleaning.

I take: nothing, a bit irritated with healing that comes from the outside in. Reading books of an old Dutch witch now. Unfortunately she is long dead but I have just re-discovered her. Really enjoying it, well, she says things that agree with my thoughts about stuff so that makes for easy reading ;-). Another wonderful realisation of late: I like stuff that does not contradict me. :-D. It feels very childish but I could also interpret it as ‘going with the flow’. And now I have seen Donna Eden’s video’s I’m sure that going with the flow is very important. Check this out. Donna shows how to test if your ‘strong’ in your energy and then with the one movement takes away the energy from somebody (and restores it later! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) If you are in a hurry go to 1:20. In another video she shows that actually looking somebody down can do scramble somebodies energy and looking up to them can strengthen it. Wow! She also tells about the bad effects of shoulder bags and underwired bras on your energy level. I guess this counts for metal wires, not the plastic, but not sure. If you have time I would say: watch and learn and be happy. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  ๐Ÿ™‚ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

Reading, reading, reading

Yeah, not doing anything but reading, reading, reading. Recovery 2.0 by Tommy Rosen, yeah! Revelation! Happy to have found a book that speaks things that I align with easily and can understand like the importance of being honest to myself and others, about going on a road to meet myself and processing, letting go of, or chucking out all that is not necessary. It is about intuition and ‘feeling my way back into life’ so maybe I should not be surprised that I am so excited. ๐Ÿ™‚

I have this idea about my life that unprocessed events, errors in thinking, false hope, dreams, lies, hateful thoughts and all kinds of concepts that I have, have caused me to move away from my true self and from my path. Reading this book overwhelms me with truth. Only reading and understanding the truth and value of this is a spiritual experience.

Not all of it is easy, here I was, thinking things would get easier after 3 months. Well, I guess starting to live the Truth is, well, was going to say; easier but hahaa, NOOOO today it is rather uncomfortable :-D. Overwhelming now these layers, these walls of fear that protected me from me, from the Truth are starting to shake and tumble. Wow. The power that is locked in keeping up these walls is amazing. I guess I want it back to put to good use.

And I now know why there is the word(s): the naked truth. That’s how it feels, holy fuck what a high level of internal discomfort. Brrrrr, no wonder I drank.ย  I wish I had learned earlier in my life to deal with this. I am happy (in a very terrified way) that I have the ability to learn these things now.

Coming to a painful realisation that I could have prevented a lot of shit in my life if I had only listened to my intuition. That is painful because up to now I have lived on blaming the other while I should have taken care of myself. And smashed their heads in… well, sort of… You get the picture.

Did I tell you that Tommy Rosen makes the 12 steps understandable to me (yeah, me). That is NEW in itself. ;-). It works out that feeling your way back into life is EXACTLY what the 12 steps are about. How cool is that? That is like way cool!

I am happy that I quit. I’m running from ‘happy in a normal way because it has been 3 months now’ to ‘happy in a frightened way because of what I am reading, are facing and have to face’ to ‘happy that I finally get to sort stuf out’ to ‘happy that somebody went before me and can tell me’ and finally; happy that I quit and am doing this. The internal possibility of repair of a person is AMAZING. It is all inside, we have to uncover it. And that is without the word ‘just’ because that does not fit there today.

Well, going to read a little more. Have a nice weekend. ๐Ÿ™‚