Went to see the GP

Went to see the GP. Things aren’t going all too well. Darkness surrounds me during the day and during the night my dreams take me to revisit abuse in the past. It is not that I ever really forgot what happened, it is ‘just’ that I drank the weight, the impact of it ‘away’. And now they come back to be, what? Understood? Trying. Sleep has always been my safe place. Now it becomes a not so safe place.

Walked into the practice, literally a tsunami of depression hits me from the back of the building where the waiting room is. Very much a WTF experience. I sit down at a large coffee table and diagonally across is a girl of about 23-25 years. Her depression is so intense it is palpable. She has an appointment with the GP before me.

I enter the GP’s room after her.
“Hello, how are you?”
“I thought I had problems, after seeing that girl I know I am fine.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because her depression is so intense that I could feel it when walking into the building.”
“Yes, she is in a bad state. So, how are YOU?”

Blablablablabla…. but I am glad this happened. Not nice for her, she lives in no-man’s land. But a good, good lesson for me. 🙂

I am happy that I quit. No matter how nasty things are. I have 3 days off. Another appointment set in 2 weeks where I asked her to help me with sugar addiction and sorting some other physical stuff out. I don’t have to do anything, but I can try and see what I can do.

A woman who loves herself would go watch an episode of Master chef. 🙂

Have a nice evening/day. 🙂

xx, Feeling

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