I ‘spammed’ this in here before but I want to mention that the free online summit on self-acceptance has started today.
Self acceptance leads to less projections and less critical behaviour towards others (hence my interest :-/, much to learn there) so… finally to a better world!
I am making some tea and let’s see what it brings. 🙂
I am happy that I quit. I am going through a very rough patch and it is tough. Life has not been so tough since before I quit drinking – so blègh. I did however realise that I have EVERYTHING in house to ‘fix’ me. To work things out. But my desire to do so leaves me.
At which moment I thought… stuff it all… I’m gonna do it my way. What can I do? I can not change myself now, but I know homeopathy can help me, so lets see where Google takes me. 1 Search and 3 clicks on a website took me to a vid of Mr Vithoulkas who has a vid on a certain homeopathic medicine which starts with “these people are not closed, they miss a layer”. Which are exactly the words I would use to describe myself. Not all of it fits – but I’m gonna go with it anyway.
Visiting the GP this week. Work issues combined with re-visiting memories of my youth have brought me to the edge of what I think I can bear. Let’s see what I got, it is time to work through this. This is exactly the point where I have stopped developing, as in ‘always stopped’. It sort of feels like ‘sink or swim’. Blègh.
I am happy that I quit. In a sort of obliged way. The thought of drinking has crossed my mind. I’m thinking there is a danger where I go over the top with thinking ‘I don’t want this life anymore’ and then stepping back into ‘ooh, if it is that bad, I might as well drink because that is a better ‘solution’. Trap number 457. Overdo the one feeling as to make it ok to drink because that is less bad. I do not physically feel like drinking, I do not have urges, it is ‘just’ that my mind is setting traps which, if I were to follow them, would lead me to a bad place.
Addiction is a spiritual misunderstanding of life, at first drinking was a survival technique but ha, as with every shortcut, it started to work against me. That wish for a short-cut is still there. I somehow ‘feel entitled’ to because I have this weird, disfunctional, emotionally handicapped personality. Ha. Well, yeah, poor me. 😦 Hello underdog :-). Self-acceptance. Try it in a sentence today! 😀
Hope you are having a nice, sober day!