I AM HAPPY THAT I QUIT – 2 years

Today is the dying day anniversary of my mother and my 2 years sober celebration. I’m thinking there is still quite of lot of work ahead but 2 years = good. šŸ™‚

I AM SO HAPPY THAT I QUIT.

I still have no clue as to where my life is heading but the only thing I have to do is to get clear. Not there yet, my fight with replacement addiction sugar has come to comparable proportions as the alcohol. Not that I eat so much (I do :-)) but it influences me so much. Can’t I stop. Nope, not yet. And bwaaahahahaha, specifically not today. Or especially today. Do not know.

I am thinking of quitting my job. Which in itself is a BAD idea because I do not have a new one. But I am sick of listening to either my boss being sick about sex or my colleagues going on about it. Yesterday she asked every guy in the company how long is his dick is. And a not so nice colleague of mine (the alcoholic who has not quit yet) continued to tell everybody that he does not need to measure because in his life he has ruptured the vagina’s of at least 20 women. He finds it especially enticing when they scream. Yes, bad taste to even repeat this sick behaviour. I have a lot of difficulty energetically repairing from that when I come home. Looking for another job is very difficult because I get very scared of the world after hearing this. I need to take better care of myself. I can not have lunch with them, I guess that would be a better idea but the nice guy is also there and he sort of stabilizes me energetically through the day. He’s a sort of anchor.

Pffff, I don’t feel like moaning anymore. I should think at 2 years I could me more in control of my own life. Maybe I should stop feeling ill and get on with life. I am still trying to find out why I hold back on living and deciding my own thing. There is part of me which wants to make sure I do that soundly; like not in the control mode I was when drinking. And there is a part of me which is rather sick and pathetic than alive. I wonder about that part. It feels like if I show up for life, take my place, people will kill me. I am guessing that is how I experienced my life before. Need to find balance there too. Well, there is a whole list of things but it is not getting done with me sitting here typing! So off I go! I have the day off for some serious cleaning, some admin and some celebrating and I hope to fit in looking for another job too.

I am happy that I quit. I am happy that you quit too. If you did not (yet): good that you are around here in the sober blogosphere to read and think and feel about addiction. šŸ™‚ Take care. Do what a woman/man who loves her/himself would do. šŸ™‚

Wishing you a nice sober day.

xx, Feeling

 

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15 thoughts on “I AM HAPPY THAT I QUIT – 2 years

  1. Congrats on 2 years!!! That’s awesome šŸ˜€ The man at work just sounds like an idiot though it can’t be pleasant to have to listen to him talk that crap and your boss probably encourages him :/ Enjoy your special day and have some cake. Take care, hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. That guy is sick, and deeply unpleasant. We have laws against that kind of crap don’t we? I’m not surprised you struggle with it. I would have told him to “shut the f*** up” by now…. Ugh. Poor you šŸŒ·

    Liked by 1 person

    • We have the same laws, it’s just that the girls he chooses don’t think they apply to themselves. From the stories I have no doubt the girls drink as much as he does. šŸ˜¦ Which is why I am happy that I quit. šŸ™‚
      xx, Feeling

      Like

  3. YAY!!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FEELING!
    I am so happy for you, and you know? This will be a year of more growth for you!
    I just know it!
    You will find a better job.
    I tried to send you a picture of a birthday cake with 2 candles, but I didn’t know how to do it!
    So pretend there is a cake, balloons, and ice cream!
    Much Love,
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so vey happy for you. I believe you will find a better job because you deserve it. The sexual nature of your colleagues is sick. The reality is that the alcoholic colleague who claims to have ruptured twenty vaginas probably can’t even raise the flag….. If you know what I mean! Too much alcohol does that. šŸ°šŸ°šŸ°šŸ°šŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸŽˆšŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ghegheghe, I am pretty sure he can’t raise his flag without alcohol anymore, that is the pre-stage. But aaahrg, no I should not even think about that. šŸ˜€
      I have come to think that I need to start believing that I can find a better job, otherwise nothing is going to happen in this Universe. Let’s see how to approach that.
      xx, Feeling

      Like

  5. Congratulations.
    Find a new job. There are better people in the world.
    Hugs

    I am so happy you quit and that you wrote this blog. You have challenged my thinking many times and open my mind to new ideas.

    Thank you!
    Love
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your congratulations and being happy that I quit. šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚
      I am happy you find stuff of interest in this blog. And I realise that I have forgotten (that selflessness thing has not really really caught on yet ;-)) that I need to thank people who have supported me. Of which you are obviously one of big importance. šŸ™‚ Thank you from the bottom of my heart. <3. Thank you for reading, for thinking about what I wrote, thank you for commenting, for showing how to take the nice path instead of me wanting to trash things. šŸ™‚ For teaching me that baby steps are ok. I 'made it to' 2 years with baby steps! šŸ™‚ Thank you! ā¤
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

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