Abbieinwonderland wrote a beautiful post on sober ‘slogans’ – those things which you repeat or tell yourself in order to either understand something, or motivate yourself. After replying to Abbie I found that I would like to save this text as a post on my own page too. So here it is!
“What is in the way, is The Way” – which is a recovery slogan from Mary O’Malley who has written a book about it. It sort of means; if you get stressed from not drinking; work on the stress.
“I am happy that I quit” – which, gheghe, is obviously ‘by me’. I found that being happy about quitting opens a whole different set of possibilities in life in comparison to thinking it is all shitty. If I sit down to moan about it the first thoughts which appear are ‘Ooh, I might as well drink.’ While when I am happy, I am proud of myself, and happy.. The practise of getting to the point of being happy about quitting every day taught me what I actually really felt about it. Which refers back to ‘What is in the way…’
By the way: I am convinced that the thought that alcohol makes us happy is put in our brains by the alcohol industry/society. It is the result of being brainwashed. I take the time to unbrainwash me so I do not have to white knuckle it. It is the difference between trying to stop an oncoming train by hand or just stepping off the rails and watching it pass by.
“What would a woman who loves herself do?” – Teal Swan.
Not sure if it is a slogan but I use it repeatedly to find out what is actually going on. I found, with getting sober, that there are so many energetic / feeling currents under the surface which influence me – and which, I think are the ones that would make me drink if I were to drink – that I think it is necessary to become aware of them and to take care of me with that. Asking this question really helps me making sound decisions. At first I thought I would turn to watching movies at night and fat with eating chocolate. It works out that I put chocolate down and go to bed on time.
“The longer I do not drink, the weaker the addict within becomes.”
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off’ – Gloria Steinem
I use this insight / slogan to realise that I am not the only one whose process pisses them off.
“In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences. – Robert Green Ingersoll.
I uses this insight / slogan to stabilize myself when I am hoping for rewards after having done something well or just to make me realise that this is how life works. THIS IS HOW LIFE WORKS. We have added all kinds of emotions and reward systems to this to guide kids in a ‘good’ direction but actually this is the only thing it comes down to.
“One moment at the time / The only thing I have to do is to not drink now in this moment.” On moment at the time is ‘my’ version of ‘one day at the time’. The second one comes from my therapist. (Hi :-)) These slogans helped me to go back to the moment I was living in, instead of looking forward, worrying about something in the future. Like the thought ‘Oooh, I can NEVER drink again!’ would sometimes get to me and then I would remember: No, I only do not have to drink right now. I can manage right now. I never liked ‘One day at the time, one day was way too long for me, that already stretches me into the future. When I do that I lose touch with my base and start to feel ‘out of it’ or unhappy or strange in many possible ways.
And there is: “Whatever it takes is what it takes.” I think I came up with that. Not sure. It is about thinking ‘Nah, I don’t really need ALL that self-care, nah, I don’t really, really need to eat healthy, I don’t really, really need to go to bed early because that would be ridiculous, if I were to need so much care…. pfff, that would be very ridiculous. Nobody else does it….’ I answer to myself: whatever it takes is what it takes.
I guess these are / have been the most important for me. Of which obviously the I am happy that I quit practise has helped me most in the beginning while now I start to feel that I need to take care of me on a deeper level and I continue with ‘What would a woman who loves herself do?’.
Well, I’m going to press the publish button now, but obviously not without saying “I am SOOOOO happy that I quit! 23 Months ago (plus some days) I decided to stop. Shit I was scared but it was a do or die situation to me so I did. And I lived :-). Which, I guess, is good. I bought myself a real real nice pair of Teva sandals because the other ones were worn out after 10 years :-). I actually walked through the sole. 🙂 Is that how you say it? Probably not. I am enjoying every step on the Teva’s :-). Love this brand. Really good collection build up in hardness of the soles and support and durability. Very well done. As a maker of stuff it makes me happy to see brands which actually really think their collection through.
Can’t stop repeating: I am so happy that I quit. It probably sounds cheesy to you all after having heard this so many times but I am. Again and again and again. Life is tough, has been these weeks, more to follow on daily life but I am so happy that I am here and sober and experiencing the ups and downs.
Hope you enjoyed!