Who Says Our Dysfunctional Parents “Did the Best They Could?” — Score Addicaid

The below post is written by Amy Ellen Jollymore and gives the reader her view on her parents. I find it a big relieve to read this. People have always been telling me ‘your parents did the best they could’ but I have never experienced that. I experienced the same dislike kids can show eachother at kindergarten, at elementary school, at high school, well at any school or in any group, workplace, neighborhood: people are people and some do not get along and most of these don’t care because ‘the other’…..

I did not care to be polite to my parents because I felt they disregarded anything I said. They probably felt the same. It was not ‘their best’, it was powerplay all along. This in a family is dysfunctional. Not saying I would have done better, not saying I could have done better. Ghegheghe, I did the best I could and it was lousy. But I prefer to hear the truth about it: it was lousy. No need to cover up with sentences which try to hide what it was. Lousy.
Read and I actually hope it does not ring true for you, but if it does: it is very freeing. :-)xx, Feeling

Addicaid – Addiction Recovery Support Writer and speaker Amy Eden Jollymore is the author of The Kind Self-Healing Book: Raise Yourself Up with Curiosity and Compassion. She founded the self-help blog guesswhatnormalis.com for adult children of alcoholics in 2005 and recently launched The Kind Self-Healing Project, dedicated to the soul and spirit of lifelong recovery…

via Who Says Our Dysfunctional Parents “Did the Best They Could?” — Score Addicaid


9 thoughts on “Who Says Our Dysfunctional Parents “Did the Best They Could?” — Score Addicaid

  1. Thought provoking article. It is a stupid saying when you think of it. Like she said, how do you put that in to perspective when you are talking about sexual abuse of a child?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, thoughtprovoking, which is why I forwarded it. 🙂 She has nice websites too.
      And yes, in the light of sexual abuse or whatever abuse it sounds like a way to cover up, to not deal, to not look at things which are difficult. I broke with my father, some people, without even asking why I discontinued our contact, immediately begin to tell me that I should get back in contact. This immense need, this not even concious drive to ‘make it whole’ – to not be able to look at what is broken. I very much dislike that. Not sure why yet but it feels dangerous and destructive. Like blindly and forcefully ignoring important parts of what it. The drive, the intention is not good. :-/
      xx, Feeling


  2. I think looking and seeing the truth for what it is is so powerful and empowering. And her question, ‘Where am I in this statement?’ Rings out so powerfully with the answer of ‘Nowhere.’ I think owning and voicing your part of the narrative is so important.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Feeling!
    This was a great read.
    I had to tell hubs that I was not a great person when I was drinking.
    I was selfish and I hurt him.
    I didn’t do the best I could at all.
    And I had to look at that truth as painful as it was.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, “look at the truth as painful as it was”. I think I found that this is the only way that allows us to continue. I assume that hiding from the truth is only another addictive personality trait. 😦 Happy that we quit! 🙂
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

      • Biking = always GOOD! I went biking and did some planned (over)spending today because I had a big tax return so I bought all these tiny things I had been wanting for in the last 2 years; ghee, neem hair oil, castor oil, terribly expensive eco Hauschka face creme, eco shampoo, eco dishwasher soap, eco olive oil, a whole pile of beautiful Jung, Campbell and Kent 2nd hand books at bookstore man 2 (the 73 year one), chocolate nibs, raw cashew nuts, pine nuts, goji berries, you name it! I bought it! Transfer addiction, I know. It was good to indulge. Now, tighten the reigns again. 🙂
        xx, Feeling

        Liked by 2 people

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