Short post :-)

Hello!

I’m still around, month 22 (edit: month 21!!! stupid concussion), if I had not noted that already. But still having a concussion so online time is limited. But still VERY HAPPY THAT I QUIT. Currently, if I have clear time and am not tired I read Craig Nakken’s book ‘The addictive personality’ again. Wow! Again, it blows my mind. I have come a long way with 21 months, but the actual unaddicting will take some serious work.

I wanted to drop some info for those who might appreciate it. There is a new online summit and this one is on ANXIETY. For those who are not familair with online summits: you sign up using your e-mail address and a first name. Mostly you get an introduction e-mail and in that you have to click to confirm. On the said dates there will be video’s online of interviews with experts. These work according to, well, let us call it the Cinderella principle: so only visible for free for 24 full hours. At the end of the average summit all the vids will be visible during a weekend. If you want to have the vids you can buy them.

I am happy that I quit. Because I do not think I would be alive anymore if I had not. That has become very clear during the first days of my concussion. The blow emotionally threw me back in time about 2 years and I felt very much like I did not like life and me anymore :-(. Things are still unstable but not so dark. Stupid concussion messes with the mind. 😀

Because of the concussion I had to do CONTINOUS RIGOROUS SELFCARE. Pfffff, sigh…. that was/is difficult. So the WWAWWLHD came in very handy. I love this tool. Happy I found it. Tells me: she would not worry about cleaning now because she needs to be in bed / She would drop the chocolate because it might mess with her sleeping pattern and she needs her sleep / She would get out of bed to drink some water because the brain needs to float, not dry out.

What I am not doing is my admin. I have some letters from the tax office laying about and an invoice saying ‘open now or else’. 😦 And I still CAN NOT ask for help. It is not helping that my SIL, whom I did this with before is on a path where she condemns everything I do or say and then continuous with ‘Well I really don’t think there is anybody as sensitive as you are!’ You know what? I was doubting myself but now I write this down I realise that nobody ever meant something nice with saying: ‘Well I really don’t think there is anybody as sensitive as you are!’ Life is difficult sometimes. I don’t know what I did to irritate her but I keep on hearing my brother through what she says. As if he is telling her what to say. Why do I even write this down? Ooh yeah, I was wondering if I make thing complicated between me and my SIL so I do not have to ask for help. Also, I feel disappointed that she does not offer, since she said she would help me. But is not offering the same as helping? Maybe, in my case, NOT offering helps me more. :-D. I’m sick of it all, there are things I can do, but not with a concussion too. And trying to work with a concussion. 😦

Yes, yes, moaning and sulking. I’m off to bed. 🙂

I am happy that I quit, hope you are too :-). Being happy that you quit makes things so much easier! 🙂

xx, Feeling

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8 thoughts on “Short post :-)

  1. Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself.
    Saying you are sensitive is hurtful. Hug

    If you need help, and she is willing, ASK. she can’t read your mind.
    Sometimes it’s better to just concede. It might be a moving forward action.

    I will look into the anxiety info. My anxiety has been bad with the fires and evacuation…no surprise. I saw a new therapist with new ideas today. I will write more after my next visit.

    I told her I think I have alexithemia. And it turns out that’s her area of study! Strange, as I never admit this…but today it just came out.

    Anyway, keep taking care. I am so glad you quit.

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    • 🙂 I am happy that you found somebody with whom you can speak about your worries. I feel so selfish when I moan about my concussion.
      Wishing you all the best, energy to do what is good for you and peace and joy.
      xx, Feeling

      Like

      • Don’t feel selfish.
        I was beginning to feel bad that my house didn’t burn down. But, that’s not fair to me.

        Our personal struggles are impactful to us. Just because someone else has it worse does not mean we aren’t still hurting.

        💖

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Sorry to heart about your injury. I am like you, I don’t do well with needing help, or being injured. I agree with Anne..all you can do where your SIL is concerned is let her know you need help. We really all do need help sometimes and it’s more than okay to need help!
    Keep taking care of you.
    Jenn

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Dear Feeling!
    I hope your concussion gets better soon.
    I’ve never had one, but I know they are hard.
    Yes, ask your SIL for help.
    Even if she is annoying, if she can help, then that’s now thing off your brain!
    And WWAWWLHD is such a loving question.
    You have made gains!
    And I am very happy you are sober and I am happy I am sober!
    xo
    Wendy
    PS – Hubs and I went for our first bike ride here! It was awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ooh Lou, so true and SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!! I so need to learn to do this and I so want to escape well, ‘all of it’ – not even sure what that means. I’m thinking this is where I touch the core of my being an addict. :-/
      Well, let’s see how I deal. I’m afraid if I don’t the warnings from the universe will get stronger and stronger. However, still having difficulty to adult. :-/
      Maybe I should try the fake it till I make it because I see no other way. This spiritual insight is lacking. Sigh… 🙂 Well, it will come, I guess.
      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 2 people

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