Sometimes it is nice to approach a problem from a totally different perspective. So not: ‘why did I get addicted to alcohol’ but ‘why did I not get addicted to veggies’. I’m thinking because addiction in itself is not a natural state of being. Animals that live in the wild in their natural territory do not get addicted and do not get depressed. I’m taking some large steps here and adding: I think we would have recognised alcohol as ‘not good’ if we were not already lacking something and experiencing ‘holes’ in our soul. And, I guess that we have already set been on a path of addiction by our high refined sugar consumption. I am pretty convinced that sugar is our first addiction. Have you tried quitting? It’s harder than cigarets and alcohol combined – for me. I did it once in my life, no problem, second time around now I’m pffffff, hopeless. And possibly less motivated ‘because I’ve just done alcohol’. True, but still, I’ve been roaming the house looking for something to eat because I did not buy chocolate today. I have, after I quit alcohol never ever walked trough the house hoping I had forgotten something somewhere. It is a strange experience.
Also, I guess addiction to alcohol could only happen after we had changed from nomads to settlers. Pffff, can’t imagine walking on the prairy with all that beer on my back so I guess that’s how it is.
Actually I don’t feel like thinking about this so I’ll just continue with my usual self check. 🙂 Do you have self checks?
I fear: pfffffff, money issues, work, all of that. However I found the correct Schuessler salt for my blood pressure and I think I can feel it dropping by the minute. That would be great. 🙂 And I would need to consider how to continue with that because taking these salts to keep it low would be strange. I really need to lose weight and get more active and have less money stress.
I want: to win a million and then I will finally write that book on the technical side of my work that I have not been wanting to write for so many years. I guess I have to do it without the million. I’m currently updating my old website with a blog where I add technical knowledge that is not in books anywhere. Just for fun. They say: When you are looking for a profession, do that what you are doing when procrastinating. 🙂 In 2 weeks I hope to have achieved enough to be able to send my old contacts a ‘Hi I’m back mail’. Let’s see.
I need: to keep moving and applying for jobs and developing my business skills again (soon)
I take: Schuessler salt for high blood pressure, Bach remedies for everything and everything. Which would mean that I would actually need the Wild Oat. But that one somehow never seems to work with me. Or maybe I am expecting too much: this beautifuly smooth road to my destination. Maybe that is not how it works. Hmmm. I wish my mom was still alive. I never thought my drinking was THAT bad, but obviously it was because there are sober parts in me that are not aware of her being dead. It was bad, I never knew it was that bad. Have been in denial about that too. 😦 Grrrrrrrr… And now I have to work through what I did not do when drinking. I’m miserable, but maybe that is what I should not be. Maybe I should be happy about that to. That I get to learn things. Ha… I’m doing the difficult part of the learning again. And being disappointed about being fired and high blood pressure does not make it easier. I had forgotten about the ‘I am happy that I quit’… That’s weird.
I am happy that I quit. In a sort of tired of it all happy kind of way, not feeling like drinking but indeed tired of having to take care so much. Guess I need to do my desensitation training again and more often so there are no internal reflexes at seeing an empty beer can on the pavement. Not that I want to drink then but internally there is still a thing that walks the path to …. heeeeee, yeah, lets chill mate….. Very important not to let that thought settle in the brain where there is the response of ‘Yeah, I’d like to hang….’
So much unfocussed thoughts for today. I’m off to bed. Walked an hour today with my unemployed neighbour, we are planning to do that more often. Let’s see.
Hope you have a nice day / evening. Sober love to the world! ❤