I’m not feeling very inspired to write about my own stuff so here’s a little manual I did for adding a blog or a website to your follow list. I used an example.
– go to the bloggers page
– copy the http address (that would be http://godwalkedintothisbar.blogspot.nl/2015/04/dont-let-yourself-get-hung-up-on-all.html if you follow the above link )
– go to your own WordPress page where you read all the posts from others
– press the Reader button on the top, the page will change
– now select the little gear wheel next to ‘blogs I follow’. The page will change and you’ll see all the blogs you follow.
– paste the http address in the top box where it says ‘Enter a blog url to follow’ and then push the ‘follow’ button right from the box.
That should do the trick. You can actually do / try this with sites that do not look like a blog. Websites recognise blog structures. If it does not work it will say so. Hope it helps. I like it because it keeps al my interests together.
I am happy that I quit.
I fear: nothing specific today, yes. I fear Queensday. I fear not getting any work or applications done, pretty exhausted from an intense conversation yesterday with the store man about the last fuck up with the job and how I felt about that. The conversation developed into me spilling out my fears on work, money, not being good enough, shame and Queensday. The store man is good guy. I’m happy that I didn’t blow a possible friendship by staying in love with him. And yes, he’s still a pothead but he says he’s trying to work it out, feeling his way through (sound familiar?) and he has discovered that shame adds to the mind construction in which he uses. Isn’t that odd? Putting the finger right where it belongs. I was surprised at that. Specifically because shame is The Exact Emotion we prefer NOT to look at. And then he continued with a whole load of BS on why he is so absolutely NOT addicted and how he continues to profit from using, smoking his 3rd in 2 hours. I told him I do not buy into that but also not to mind me and do whatever he wants – and that I do not like it and will take my own precautions if I get in trouble with it. He’s never going to quit over me saying so anyhow, and it is none of my business. Shouldn’t even be writing about it possibly.
Queensday (well, Kingsday now) our national boozing bank holiday coming up and that I’ve never done one sober and that I do not feel like going out that day but that it is The Major friends event not to miss. I feel it is more important than New Years eve. I don’t feel like going out because I have never felt comfortable among all these drunk people, a big drunk mass – they actually get pretty scary after about 15:00 o’clock – and my only way to deal with is was getting absolutely soaked myself. Maybe I should go out at 06:00 in the morning again. That’s when most people are still sober.
In the 7,5 months I’ve been around here I think I’ve learned that people who fall of the sober track often do so around holidays where they experience big social pressure. My friends won’t push me into drinking. But I can see the scenario where I (and in my original post I never finished this sentence because I don’t want to put emphasis on possible bad situations in the future so if any of you at any time read this twice, you now know why I didn not finish the sentence. :-D) I know I should take the pressure of the pressure cooker before going or not go. Going to do my desensitization training NOW.
I want: pffff, not sure anymore, no directions to my thoughts today
I need: to get a move on.
I take: some Schuessler salts on a throat ache and internal coldness, the sun is shining but I’m so cold inside. Got a GP appointment this week, hope to get another blood test to see how I’ve improved and to check on vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Not sure if she’ll go along because I don’t really have complaints. Somehow I feel I’ve got the right to ask for anything because I ‘saved’ ‘them’ about 20.000 euro or more by not going into rehab. Childish…. Yes, I know.
Hope you are having a nice day / evening!