I feel NORMAL! With a job and with being tired at the end of the day. :-)

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No, I’ll write something. It was good. I am happy that I quit because now I could look at my thoughts and fears while getting to sleep, waking up, making breakfast, travelling. Otherwise I would have started the day, not wishing for it to end already but knowing that I had ‘an escape’ at the end. So I would never really get into the day.

And I am very happy with all your well wishing because I really felt ‘backed up’. As if your good thoughts and prayers have given me some extra spine. And…. I needed that; there is a big backlog and I had to make ‘production’ already. First day, full into the job. It is nice to have some experience. 🙂

My boss commented on my outfit (nice) and thought I had lost some weight since she last saw me! Yeah! I guess the no-sugar diet is paying off. I do feel like I go to the toilet more than I drink so there must be some water weight there. For all the correct Americans here: these are pretty normal comments to get in the Netherlands, well at least boss women to women – specifically in the branch I work. If it would have been a guy it would have been weird too.

I am happy that I quit. See above. I would actually advise anybody to quit if you haven’t already. 🙂 Ooh, my boss is moderating now. Did we speak about it? Yeah, well, not on me having to quit. I said it was just a diet thing and that I was slowly taking all empty calories out to see where I end up. And when speaking of empty calories and health, obviously alcohol is at the top of the list. Do I feel bad about not telling the truth. Nope. I am surprised that I can though. And not. Because I AM happy that I do not drink alcohol anymore. And I am happy about it and that is the emotion that carries across, not the shame I used to feel when I just quit. One of the persons at the intake said ‘You feel a lot of shame now, once you are sober for a while you will see that this too is caused by the alcohol and by using.’ I did not believe him then, I still thought AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL my feelings were true and unavoidable. Turns out he was right. 🙂

I want: to eat and sleep.

I need: to make some dinner and sleep.

I take: I guess I’ll take some Schuessler pills later when I feel like it and my Bach remedy.

Have a good night / evening / day/ morning!

xx, Feeling

13 thoughts on “I feel NORMAL! With a job and with being tired at the end of the day. :-)”

  1. Dear Feeling,
    You made me laugh! I am a correct American! LOL
    I always think women bosses are sometimes tricky to work with. I know that’s sexist, but it’s been my experience.
    I am so glad your first day went well! AND you had a nice outfit! I always feel better and more confident when I am dressed nicely.
    There is something SO good about working a job, coming home tired, and sleeping, all without drinking.
    I am so glad I quit drinking too!
    I hope you had happy dreams!
    xo
    Wendy

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  2. That’s fantastic.
    I try very hard to never comment on other peoples weight. It is such a touchy subject. But I have been around other cultures where it is normal to critique each other openly.

    I’m very happy for you. Yes. So much better than enduring the day to get back to the bottle. It seems so strange to imagine any of us ever did that…

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    • Yes, we did that. Hmmm 😦

      And I guess it is a good idea to not comment on peoples weight or appearance. Dutch will say anything, most are like me but a bit more moderated. Specifically polite Asians and Americans living here take a while to see the beauty in it. 🙂
      Or, well, the branch I work in is all about appearance. I’m the odd one out :-). Hmmm, that is a new thought, I guess I am not at home in a lot of places. I feel a new development subject coming up. 🙂
      Thank you for being happy for me! 🙂 🙂
      Have a nice evening.
      xx, Feeling

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  4. Brilliant news! So happy you had a good first day 🙂 and that feeling of tiredness from a job well done is so satisfying. These days I can’t imagine why I wanted a glass of wine every night after work. What is the possible point of that?! Good for you, feeling! Xx

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