Yeah! I did a shitload today. I was totally inspired by my own post of yesterday ;-). So, quote-o-sophy has helped me here.
First I finally made some Bach remedies again, these are naturopathic drops of plants and trees which influence several parts of your (my!) body’s energy. If you want to look stuff up you can search the net for all kinds of info. I like these charts:
There are several books about the subject too (haha, of course…. books….). I read them all cover to cover and back and finally end up using the internet charts. And there are other types of remedies like the Australian and the Californian. They say the remedies work best in the part of the world they come from. And other brands but I got started when there were only Bach Remedies so I deal with those.
There are in total 38 or so remedies but I’ve listed a few here that I think can be specifically helpful for addiction, well, AGAINST addiction:
Agrimony: to not hide real feelings behind substances, for those who were the partygirl and all the others 😉 who are addicted to anything. From smoking to nail biting to meth – this remedy deals with the addict within. If you can’t work out why you can’t stop with some behaviour this might be the one. Inner restlessness drives you to use/drink. Not being able to live, feel, in the now.
Aspen: when you are caught in fight-flight-freeze due to bad experiences, can’t move when scared. Also for those who had bad trips. Watch out, it is my personal experience that it can bring up memories of original trauma’s. But it heals, it heals.
Beech: being judgemental and inflexible. For those like me who go around blogs telling others ‘they are doing something wrong’.
Cherry Plum: feeling like a time-bomb. Connected with feelings of suicide. Do not take without sufficient support.
Chestnud bud: break repetitive patterns of addiction, break patterns in general, tends to not learn from experiences.
Chicory: works on the liver (yeah!). Afraid to lose friends, picking up illnesses or ‘poor me behaviour’ in order to get attention.
Crab Apple: to help you feel clean again, inside and outside. Expect spontaneous outbursts of cleaning and chucking stuff out.
Honeysuckle: romantically longing for your drinking / using days
Impatience: as the names says. On being in the now. For people who are quicker in everything than others. Can help with bringing up kids too.
Mimulus: when you fear everything that can be named, spiders, people, cancer, well, you name it. 😉
Pine: on quilt and wishing you were never born because guilt / parents / religion / you yourself tell(s) you you are not good enough.Hornbeam: for feeling every day is a Monday. About procrastinating (I guess I’ll take it tomorrow then…)
Rock rose: for acute fear and panic, fight-flight-freeze in the now. Often for those who have used / been addicted.
Rock water: Dealing with perfectionism. Hmmm, that’s why I have not been taking this one. Ever. I do do some avoiding of experiences…Larch: self confidence in a bottle, but different now.
Sweet Chestnut: about mourning and the ‘dark night of the soul’, feeling like you have reached rock-bottom but not seeing the light yet. Deals with the aspect of having faith when down and out.
Star of Bethlehem: my all times favorite, on dealing with small and big trauma’s from the past and in the now. Very helpful also with kids and after giving birth for both mom and baby and dad possibly.
Walnut: for facilitating transition periods and finally making decisions. For those who are ok with decision-making normally but due to changing circumstances have troubles now. Also on letting go of the old love / bad habit.
White Chestnut: to stop thoughts from running through your head, keeping you awake.
Wild oat: for not finding your destiny, for feeling like a boat without a harbour.
Willow: to soften and deal with resentment
WARNING: These remedies are preserved in alcohol.
This does not bother me because I know, well, can’t look into the future but I assume that the smell or taste of these alcohol drops will not make me drink. You of course have to decide that for yourself. I did 10-15 drops in a liter of water and took 5 sips of this during the day and I keep on filling up the bottle with water. I can taste alcohol but it does not bother me. If you do not trust yourself with the Bach remedy bottles in the house but are curious you could try a Bach remedy consultant who could, at request, most probably dilute it and let it air for a long time before you get yours. Or maybe mask the taste? Not sure how. Don’t take them with coffee or so.
By the way: if you are in and out of drinking this could actually be of help, I mean, those few drops are not going to make a difference than are they?
My personal experience with Bach remedies is that they seem to clear energetic blockages, specific thoughts just disappear or become unimportant because I get an insight that changes the whole way of looking at it. However, it are not miracle medicine, they do a whole lot but if you work with them in actively scrutinizing your behaviour things go way easier. Like with me today. I added Hornbeam (procrastinating) to my mix and I actually started project 1. Worked on it for 3 hours and was content. I also noticed that I could just focus for 3 hours. I thought I had lost that. Happy it is back. 🙂 Will be needing it this Tuesday when the job starts. :-).
I am happy that I quit. And proud of what I did today. Progress. I think I’ll make the ‘One year from now you will be happy that you have started today.’ quote with me for a while.
I want: the day to have many more hours.
I need: to continue taking care of me. I’m starting to think that I might actually be pretty ok.
My fear of today: how to deal when on the new job and admin not done and bills piling up.
Also on facing fear: Today I pulled the Fear card from the Tarot AGAIN! But this was one in a series of 8, but still, I keep on repeating cards so I’m not done developing yet :-). The message of the card is that one can look at fear as an indication where there can be growth. And I’m starting to like that concept and it is sort of settling in as something that, in the future, might, possibly be a tool which could be considered to be tried if in dire need of something and only in those cases when all other options and variations of denial have proven to be useless after several fruitless attempts.
I hope you enjoyed the post. 🙂
Have a nice new sober (or hopefully sober or clean for some of us) week!