Post, on a few things… on life after

From the Recovery 2.0 conference from an interview with Dr. George Munoz – medical anthropologist / shaman.

The shaman will speak to the Western person, the Western persons BRAIN. But the spirit, the heart and the soul don’t need talking to. Energy doesn’t need talking to. It’s the mind. So, we have a paradigm in the West where we have to address the mind which is not, many times, in alignment with the spirit or energy. In fact, that malalignment is part of the disease.


The story does not matter, the work is the work, we all have to get to the work, one way or the other.

Happy with that. 🙂 Tommy Rosen said something like, somebody told him ‘You have this disease of addiction and the remedy is the spiritual work of the 12 steps.’ I disagree there with him. I think it is that we have an affliction that can be called ‘the hole in the soul’ and that we chose an addiction to make it go away. But spiritual work, like karma shit, until you fix it it keeps on coming back. That counts for everybody, no matter what nest you come from or what path you chose. So indeed, the story does not matter, the work is the work, we all have to get to the work, one way or the other. Ooh, by the way, if you were in doubt: choosing addiction to finally get there is NOT the smartest nor the easiest way. 😀

I am happy that I quit. Went to see the store man today, had another beautiful talk with him and his new store man. I am very happy to be rid of this affection, mixing up Friend and Path and Goal. Pffff, I’m too old for that.

I need: to sort out my stuff and find a job.

I want: to hide. And I am thinking of changing my name because I think intention shows in a name and I am by now thinking that my intention ‘feeling my way back into life’ is keeping me feeling my way back. Like putting all the energy in the journey. I need to be arriving somewhere too. That does not seem included. Or, possibly: I don’t see it because it has never been included in my life…

I take: very little, went to see the wise women yesterday. She used to teach in Schuessler salts amongst others and she gave me her study material :-). I think I want to go back to teaching, I have been reading several Tarot cards on my abilities and teaching comes back and back and… you guessed it, it comes back. The most important thing is, and that has never happened before: I am starting to feel content with that. Ever since I was 6 years old I played ‘school’. Yes! that was horrible for my brother! And he did not participate anymore after 2 times. No bargening like ‘I’ll play war with you and the Playmobil and the Lego if you play school with me?’ would ever get him there. So I kidnapped the neighbours kid, he was 3 or 4. He had to sit and listen and do calculations. He wasn’t very good at it. :-D. Well, I guess I will need to change that last part of the concept. Kidnapping is not very marketable I would say, but… I am finding peace in this and that is good. This Sema ceremony of whirling dervishes sprang to mind. More info.

And if I were to change directions slowly in the coming years to the subject of nutrition and teaching I would be doing….. exactly what my mother used to do.  That is strange. Need to look into that because it feels funny. Like I am not doing what I should be doing because she did it. Whatever, not now. Now I need to do other stuff.

I am happy that I quit. I Hope you are happy that you quit too. 🙂

10 thoughts on “Post, on a few things… on life after

      • Well, let’s see if we can tackle this one too. 🙂 Or let’s tackle this one too. Or let’s see if we can do this one too. Or let’s see when we do this one too. Or… I still can’t get past some obstacles to the part where I can say: just do it. Or more: it’s done. Apprehension? More like resistance. I do everything with starting off with resistance…. 🙂 / 😦

        How are you? Working out if / when / how you can sustain an income with teaching yoga? Or…?


      • I expect I will not quit my job any time soon. I have worked for the same company for 19 years as a chemical engineer.

        It would be very hard to replace my salary with yoga teaching….but my plan is to continue to develop my interests so that if an opportunity arose I could consider it.

        My kids are too set in their lifestyle to make a drastic change.

        Interestingly, as I have found peace and comfort in myself I like my work more.

        I can really see why they recommend no huge changes in early sobriety. So many options and ideas come out. It would be hard to follow them all!

        Liked by 1 person

      • 🙂 Yes, it would be hard to follow all the impulses. Lucky in me they were constricted by a lack of energy otherwise I would be living in a hut in Tibet now.

        Chemical engineer! Cool. 🙂 And very nice that you have kept your job through the difficult years. 🙂 I am currently studying the working of the Schuessler salts; it is all about biochemical reactions and I wish I had paid more attention in our chemics class.

        And yes, I guess having kids changes a lot. 🙂 I have been looking for a path that feels my own and makes me feel like I belong. I am a technical engineer too but the field I studied in a very polluting world an it is connected with a lot of mistreatment, slavery, spiritual and physical polution and currently I have not found a way yet to let that not get to me. Working in that environment makes me realise that I do nothing good, contribute to the bad. But I’m not sure if that is just another one of those ideas to keep me from actually doing stuff. :-/

        Choices, choices, choices…. and if I don’t choose, time will make the choices for me. :-/


  1. I love teaching! I retired from teaching little ones, k- 2nd grade.
    Feeling, I love being sober.
    I am struggling a little with figuring out what to do in retirement, which is why I connect to your writing!
    Peace and hugs,

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have never taught anybody below 18 years I guess but 2nd grade… cute…. 🙂

      Retirement is still 20 years away from me, I guess, I hope, not sure. I realise now that I would love allow myself internally to be ok with my search, as if I was in retirement. And I realise that I do my searching but condemn myself for not having found my ‘place’.

      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with your thoughts on the hole in the soul, and your point that it isn’t just addicts who need to do the work. Well said!
    And don’t worry if things seem to be moving slowly. Stuff is happening even if you’re not aware of it yet… I have often found that everything appears to stay the same for what feels like an age, and then all of a sudden, a seismic shift occurs. Afterwards though, when you look back, you can see how so many little things aligned themselves right before the change happened.
    Keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll be ready when the opportunities show up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, that’s what I have had happening internally too, tiny things adding up and suddenly something is born. 🙂
      One thing I think to have learned that I do the max of what I can do everyday, ok, almost everyday. And that setting the alarm clock earlier, even if it is only 5 minutes, suddenly I am waking up at 8 in stead of 9. I have never been good at small changes but I am practising being in the middle with things. Well, seeing how it works and it is pretty cool. You know, I always thought I was doing pretty well with the inner work but getting sober really gave another dimension to it. I guess I was always doing exactly what I should not be doing – which was getting sober. 🙂


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