Lovesick hippo search no further

πŸ™‚ Very much enjoying myself having found a BEAUTIFUL post on love that is so very, very much applicable to my situation that I, in my newly found megalomania will assume it is written specifically for me. But make sure you enjoy it aswell. πŸ™‚

Thank you Dustin!! πŸ™‚

All the links lead to the same post. :-).

And when I read it I feel this internal knot of indecision and trouble unknotting and my spine straightening. Pffff. On I go doing the sober warrior thing and tearing the store man (who???) confusion out of my existence.

I am happy that I quit even though it is difficult currently to do the right thing.

I want: food.

I need: food.

So I’m guessing it is breakfast time.

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20 thoughts on “Lovesick hippo search no further

  1. I read the link and think he has some pretty interesting and true points.
    My personal experience is that when I got sober, so did my husband. We have both chosen to walk down roads of self discovery and honesty. It isn’t perfect, after all, we are both still human, but it is a million times better than when we sat together on the clinch and drank to fill the emptiness.

    I look at him with respect. He is doing a hard thing. I know, so am I.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Anne for telling me that, it is a hopeful story to see, hear how and that people are doing the Right thing. My longing for perfection is diminishing with every sober day now my existence seems to shrink with getting to live the ‘one step at the time rule’ and the ‘sobriety first’ and now the highs and the lows are slowly evening out. πŸ™‚
      As somebody I blogged about earlier said: ‘when you feel bad about relations and man, you will only meet people that feel bad about relations and man.’
      Hearing from you that you deal / how you deal is good for me. πŸ™‚ Thank you. I can imagine it is hard but to me it sounds exciting as well to do this together. πŸ™‚

      xx, Feeling.

      Liked by 2 people

      • It is exciting to do together. Some days our house is like an AA meeting. Deep discussions about drinking, actions, etc. I Never expected this, but it is amazing to have deep conversations with someone you know and trust. Plus, He calls me on my own bullsht…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello again Feeling-
    I can’t help but feel sad that my post had this kind of affect on you. If it is any help to you, my post was meant for all relationships and what I have experienced in my past. It’s kind of funny because when I was writing it, I stopped and said to my wife “I feel hypocritical because some of the problems I had wrote about, I had done myself”. The woman who commented above said it perfectly when she mentioned being human. No one is perfect at adhering to virtuous relationship principles. What’s important is that if we strive for moral virtue, we should always focus on moving in a forward; or even better- an upward direction. I am far from my ideals but writing them down and sharing them creates a sort of obligation to myself.
    Your writing about the hippo is strangely correlated to a hippo my wife made yesterday. It is knitted and stuffed and she just finished it yesterday. Lol off the subject I know but I thought that was a weird coincidence. I hope you are having a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am nor sure you should be sad. I am actually very happy with what you wrote because it helps me to forget about an imagined love that was not good for me. I am still hoping, but not expecting to be perfect at it but your text that is striving for doing the right thing really helps me to realise where I went of the path and how this hurts me now and will if I continue. The bookstore man is a good guy, but he’s addicted and ‘taken’ so…. not a very good choice :-). I guess I sort of knew it all along but I did not want to face it.

      On being hypocritical: for me it was clear from your post that you had been to the non virtuous places, gotten the t-shirt (and more πŸ˜€ ). And now you review your ways and realise you could have done things better. If you were on a high horse I think would have considered it hypocritical too. But I don’t think you were / are.

      And me feeling that it is specifically for me is not an issue, that is my own (not so?) funny thing. Don’t worry :-).

      Question: did you and your wife see both the hippo posts? The one from last night too? I am in this strange kind of ‘flow’ where all kinds of coincidences mean something to me. The hippo is about mother love – google hippo with totem. That might give some insights. πŸ™‚

      My weekend has brightened with reading your post and it is still going strong :-). Thank you again for a beautiful post. I hope you are having a great weekend too. πŸ™‚

      xx, Feeling

      Liked by 1 person

    • I am nor sure you should be sad. I am actually very happy with what you wrote because it helps me to forget about an imagined love that was not good for me. I am not expecting to be perfect at it but your text that is striving for it really helps me to realise where I went of the path and how this hurt me in the end. I guess I sort of knew it all along but I did not want to face it.

      On the hypocritical, one question: for me it was clear from your post that you had been there, gotten the t-shirt and more if you will. And now you review your ways and realise you could have done things better. If you were on a high horse I would have considered it hypocritical too.

      And me feeling that it is specifically for me is not an issue, that is my own (not so?) funny thing. Don’t worry :-).
      Did you and your wife see both the hippo posts? I am in this strange kind of ‘flow’ where all the coincedences mean something to me. Maybe I start sending stuff too. Hippo is about mother love.’

      (And I thought I had send this post but now it looks as if it is still open. Well, lets see..)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ugh I hate the WordPress app. Lol it’s terrible for commenting. I keep missing people’s comments. I can only use my cpu on weekends.
        I’m glad my post was helpful to you; even though some realities are not easy to stand up to.
        I do try not to ever preach from a high mountain of perfect adherence. I’m far from where I would like to be and have a lot of work ahead of me. Putting myself in check I found to be helpful. My wife didn’t see the hippo post- just me. I did find it strangely coincidental. Good to know about the hippo meaning. I didn’t know that. Hmmm. I’ll think on that. Hope all is well. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • All is well, thank you. Hope to find you well too. I dropped by at the bookstore yesterday to round off my feelings and it worked. πŸ™‚ The video that I reblogged yesterday from Kurtz was very informative. He says something like lovers see the beauty of the world in eachother and friends sit side by side. I got a very familiair sense of strangulation with the first sentence so all was done. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • That’s good to hear! I will check out that post. I haven’t had a chance to do any reading. Do you have any recommendations on how to keep up? haha You seem to do well there. Hope to catch up this weekend. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Not having a life makes me keep up with the online posts – not sure I would like to recommend that. πŸ˜€
        The post I recommend is a video so not need to read. It’s long but for me it was totally worth it. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sure that you have a life. Lol I know it’s just a joke but what do you mean by it? What does anyone mean when they say that? Does it mean that you think you are boring or don’t do anything beneficial for others? I don’t want to make something out of nothing but it is a negative thing that we often say about ourselves. I think our subconscious mind starts to believe what we tell it, even if we are joking.
        I will definitely watch that video. Happy Friday! And just so you know, you help me almost everyday with your thoughts and comments so don’t ever believe that you are not helpful to others. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • It is actually something very sad that bothers me immensly. I don’t have a job and I do not have the power to get my enterprise starting again so I’m scared because my money is running out and I spend my time hiding from life and reality while blogging. So yes, there is a meaning to it. 😦 Thank you for asking.
        I’m currently trying to live by the fact that feeling uncomfortable is a good indication that things need changing. They do. I’m ‘just’ overwhelmed and scared and have to carry this all by myself. No parents, no partner and friends that do not know I had to quit drinking.
        Also 3 major firms in The Netherlands in my field of expertise have just gone belly up in the last month and because I have been doing other or no stuff for years that leaves me with about 0% chance to find a job in my field. And this week that is all comming together because I have an appointment with a friend where I am supposed to show a plan of what I would like to do with my near future. I don’t know. I just don’t. I want to move into something ‘alternative medicine’ because that is where my heart is but I don’t have the education. I don’t know. I feel stuck in indeciveness and time is passing and passing… And the thing is: I think somehow I know EXACTLY WHAT TO DO to get myself in a flow and working things out but I don’t dare to show myself. So much has changed the last months, I feel like everything about me is new, it is all so fragile.
        And thank you for saying that you find my post helpful. But I am not sure what word to use instead of saying because saying is like you only say it but not mean it. I don’t think that. Acknowleging would be arrogant, mentioning would be off handed – if that is even a word. I am not afraid that I am not helpful to others, I am afraid that sometimes I am very destructive. These urges and extremes in me. Difficult to handle. I am guessing I am feelingwise addicted to extremes. Finding the middle road is a concept that has difficulty to land in the stormy ocean that I call me.
        Hmmm, πŸ™‚ Thank you for listening. Gheghe… I guess I’ve got stuff to sort out.
        The hippo is shouting: ‘get your ass moving and do what you think you need to do.’ Very usefull hippo. πŸ™‚ I will. Now.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It sounds like you are in a rough spot. If you look at it from a different angle, and I know how annoying this sounds already but, you have a clean slate to start from which is a good thing. You can begin a lifelong career that you can enjoy fully. You can ask yourself what the world needs you to go into, or go with what your heart tells you; which I hope they are one in the same. You don’t absolutely need education to go into your field. The internet is the best educator in the world and you could learn all you need to here if you were to do it entrepreneurial. Having a piece of paper don’t mean much. Other than the biased leaning methodologies of the state. You are capable of doing it solo, without a degree. Passion and honesty will carry you through it. Go with your heart and double check why you are wanting to do it but don’t let education stop you. Your hippo agrees as well. lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome. πŸ™‚ great! Are degrees valued in your country like they are in the US? In the mainstream, they mean something here, but in reality, they don’t always do any good. Government schools are, well, government schools. Sciences and mathematics are good but history and arts are propaganda for the most part.

        Like

      • 4 And daytime is the most logical option. I don’t have that kind of money (anymore 😦 ) There was this addiction and I blew it all.

        I’m going to look in other options but the search and thinking currently eats energy. Dealing with blowing the money that I feel I could use right now. Another on to note down as the price of addiction. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

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