Tapping script

Hi all,

For those who are not into the tapping conference, and for me and my log I’ve put up a little list here. Starting with a general video on how tapping works from the Ortner brother and sister. (Thanks to Mallards for finding this 🙂 )

And I’ve written out a tapping script from the talk on pain on the tapping conference, it is from Nick Ortner. From what I have learned so far I think it is important to write your own script with the things that pop up while you are tapping because otherwise you don’t get to the deeper levels. The Ortner family tends to start of with tapping on feeling overwhelmed because they have the experience that is how it is.

Not sure if I’m allowed to put it in print here. If not, please let me know and I’ll take it down.

Tune into a situation, a memory: where were you when it happened? Do you remember the day? Do you remember the place, the room? What did it look like? Do you remember the season, the day maybe? The time? Do you remember how you got there? What the weather was like? Do you remember what you were wearing? Were you alone or where there other people with you? What was said? What happened? How did you feel?

Tune into the feeling. The stress, the anxiety, how overwhelmed you feel.

I feel so ____________ And just feel how true that feels on a 0 to 10 scale. Notice that number, notice how that feels in your body. Also make a note, the pain that you are working on, where is it now on a 0 to 10 scale in your body? If there are multiple places where you feel pain or stress

 

Even though I am feeling overwhelmed and there is so much to do. I deeply and completely accept myself now. Even though I feel so overwhelmed about this _________ I love, accept and forgive myself.

Even though I am so frustrated, overwhelmed and ______ about this ___________ I am tired of it, I have had enough and I love, accept and forgive myself.

Side of hand
All of this overwhelm Eyebrow
This anxiety Side of the eye
This stress in my body Under the eye
I am so frustrated with this__________ Under the nose
And I feel so overwhelmed Under the mouth
It is hard to even think about it Collarbone
I have thought about it so much Under the arm
And I am sick and tired of it Top of the head
All of the stress around this __________ Eyebrow
All these thoughts Side of the eye
All his confusion Under the eye
Around this _________ Under the nose
It is safe to feel these feelings Under the mouth
I acknowledge the stress Collarbone
I acknowledge this frustration Under the arm
I acknowledge all these feelings Top of the head
And I feel safe in my body Eyebrow
Acknowledging this overwhelm Side of the eye
This frustration Under the eye
And choosing to let it go Under the nose
What if I could let it go? Under the mouth
What if I can release these feelings? Collarbone
Just a little bit? Under the arm
What if I could relax? Top of the head
Thinking about this ________ Eyebrow
Releasing all these feelings. Side of the eye
Feeling safe in my body Under the eye
Knowing that I am safe Under the nose
Even if I am (in pain / experiencing _____) Under the mouth
Feeling safe and grounded Collarbone
In every cell of my body Under the arm
Right now Top of the head
Deep breath in.

If you google on ‘Tapping scripts’ you can find more scripts. Like this one from Jessica on Weight Loss. I guess it is wise to remember that this technique only works when you speak your own truth when doing the ‘negative’ and ‘complaining’ part. As Nick says in the above video from 16:20 minutes onwards. In the conference of this year he quoted Louise Hay, queen of positive thinking, who says something like: ‘You’ve got to see the rubbish before you can clean it out.’ How very true. 🙂

The paradox of our age by Bob Moorehead

This is a wonderful analyses of our age. It helps me set things right internally. Some of you might know it. It is by Dr. Bob Moorehead, whom I do not know but will look up.

All I can say: happy that I quit so I can start by actually looking at this paradox and see how I want to change my life.

The Paradox of Our Age

We have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways but narrower viewpoints; we spend more but have less; we buy more but enjoy it less; we have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, yet less time; we have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; we have more gadgets but less satisfaction; more medicine, yet less wellness; we take more vitamins but see fewer results. We drink too much; smoke too much; spend too recklessly; laugh too little; drive too fast; get too angry quickly; stay up too late; get up too tired; read too seldom; watch TV too much and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values; we fly in faster planes to arrive there quicker, to do less and return sooner; we sign more contracts only to realize fewer profits; we talk too much; love too seldom and lie too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space; we’ve done larger things, but not better things; we’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice; we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less; we make faster planes, but longer lines; we learned to rush, but not to wait; we have more weapons, but less peace; higher incomes, but lower morals; more parties, but less fun; more food, but less appeasement; more acquaintances, but fewer friends; more effort, but less success. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; drive smaller cars that have bigger problems; build larger factories that produce less. We’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, but short character; steep in profits, but shallow relationships. These are times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure and less fun; higher postage, but slower mail; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorces; these are times of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, cartridge living, thow-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer, to prevent, quiet or kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stock room. Indeed, these are the times!

Tapping

I’m really enjoying the tapping seminar. For those who have not been able to watch or listen to any of it: you can find some other video’s on the subject on Youtube as well.

What I really enjoy is how the technique helps me realise my pre-thingy thingies (what are those words?) where I have a conviction that seems unimportant until now I realise that a lot of my life is actually based on it. So I’ve done some tapping and low and behold, my lower back pain is worse than it has ever been but I feel I’m really getting the hang of it. :-).

On ‘not wanting to grow up’ on ‘not being able to bear responsibility’ on ‘being overwhelmed by the demands of the world’, on thinking ‘I’m not good enough to be really happy’, I ‘don’t deserve to be pain-free’. All that caught up in some vague back pain. 🙂 So yeah, my lower back pain suddenly got bad… auch, but the rest of my back is happily tingling like it has come to life for the first time in my life. I feel like there is a layer of stress that resided (?) just below my skin, all over my body, and it is sort of relaxing now. It feels like I can hold more air when breathing. The cat fell asleep on my lap which is very rare.

I guess the main thing with the tapping is to address an issue and find out what is keeping me from ‘being happy’ about it. Hmmmm, suddenly I don’t feel like going into all of that. But well, that’s what I think is important and that’s why I think it is important to either draw up your own script or work with somebody who can actually see / feel what is / that something is happening and knows how to alert you of ‘fleeting thoughts’.

Well, don’t have a lot to say actually. And always when I say that I really start…

I am happy that I quit. I think I do not really remember the destructive thoughts I used to have. It is only so now and then, like once every week or 2 weeks that I have this image of knives floating around me and cutting me up. That I guess is the darkest thought popping up. Well dark enough, I guess. By now I do not lean into it anymore but just realise that what I am thinking and feeling is destructive and that I have difficulty there. Funny that this is the first time in my life that I can actually really feel that I have this destructive thought. I have written about it before but it has never really occurred that this vision is sort of ‘out of place’. It somehow does not really seem to belong to me anymore. And yet it pops up. Hmmm… Maybe it does so to say goodbye.

A lot of feelings left me today. By the way; if you ever get to choose a blog name or a ‘secret identity’ don’t use something as common as ‘Feeling’. I get a fright every time somebody writes something like ‘This Feeling confuses me.’ or ‘That is a Feeling I suppress.’ What?! What?! What did I do now?! And writing this down I am afraid that somebody will use that against me and do it on purpose. Pfiew. 😦 The stories in our mind. Keep it to myself: Pffff… the stories in my mind. I want to let go. I think I want to try to live without all these stories that keep me from making healthy decisions, keep me from repairing, keep me from growing. Letting go is difficult for me even if it is negative. Just as it is to let go of eating chocolate. Somehow it does not sit with me very well anymore, even a few pieces fill me up more than I like. But there is this voice in me saying ‘What else is left?!’ I don’t know! Maybe I should have a little chat with that voice. Not now.

So, happy that I quit.

I want: pffff, dunno. Funny day today. So much changes inside with the tapping, I feel like if I would have done more I would have not recognised myself inside anymore. And I only did like 5 minutes or so.  I guess I want things to be easy. I want this filthy rich man I met in the store 2 days ago to give me a job on a project of his in which we work out how we can get some substantial changes in our country when it comes to balancing out work-life conflicts in our economy.

I need: dunno, need to find my balance again and start doing stuff and organise again and again and again. 🙂

I take: chocolate but it does not process very well. Apart from the chocolate I am having one clean food meal a day just because I like it. The other might be muesli. And then I somehow need to balance all the health out and eat a bag of potato chips. 😀 Life…

I hope you have a nice day / evening / night!

xx, Feeling

6 Months! :-)

Hi! I am having my 6 months soberversary. 🙂 I am happy! 🙂

And repeating the words from Jessica Ortner from yesterdays talk on the tapping conference:

‘If it is not pleasurable, it is not sustainable.’

So I’m off to have some sober fun in the sauna. The sun is shining here, bit cold, 0 – 8 Celcius or something but ha! sauna is nice and warm. I’m going to find a nice book and be off. 🙂

I am happy that I quit and proud that I left that prison behind me.

I want: to live.

I need: to do a shitload of things but I’m not going to do them I am going to enjoy myself today.

I take: a good dose of sunlight, warmth, pride and happiness today and I wish you all the same. 🙂

Hugs and kisses, Feeling

Am I the only one crying with the tapping?

Listening to Jessica Ortner, explaining tapping and how it could be beneficial for weight loss. I actually substituted ‘weight loss’ for ‘admin’ and did the sequence with them. But same as in Nick Ortners talk, I start crying somewhere halfway the sequence. Pfffff…… what a lot of stress to actively realise. Do you start crying too?

It’s 5 minutes later now. I’m feeling different. Pretty new actually. The word ‘pristine’ springs to mind. Funny new feeling inside. And it looks like my skin all of a sudden feels 20 years younger. It is a remarkable day.

Love her ‘If it is not pleasurable, it is not sustainable’. Hurray! That’s where ‘Happy that I quit’ comes in. 🙂

Tomorrow, or for some of you, already today, the 25th is my 6 month sober anniversary! Yeah! Happy that I quit.

I am happy that I quit. Proud of my 6 months.

I want: to go to sleep but actually I also want to hear the rest of the tapping things and read a book and mail an interesting businessman/politician I met today in the store on why women don’t break through the glass ceiling. And well, more on how they could. It was so strange. I went to see the nutritionist friend, as always it was a wonderful meeting :-). After that I went to see the store man, we got to talk about life and pretty quickly all kinds of interesting people walked in and sat down at the tea table. The store man was speaking with customers so I started to make a set up for the website of my new still secret project. Or did I tell about that already? Well, on of the older man sitting next to me enquired after my notes and I explained my project. Funny enough he was working on a speech on the same subject but from an economical standpoint. How strange and coincidental is this? This store is so amazing. It has these ‘magical’ things happening. I guess I need to contact the politician, see if and how we can work together. (Hangover Free Life: this might be my soapbox! My soapbox! 🙂 )

I need: to go to sleep and if I want to do more I need to plan better. Better plan coming up. Sleep now.

I take: magnesium and some salt for my throat because a cold keeps on wanting to come up. And chocolate. 😀

On happiness, or lack thereof

So true, but sometimes I just can’t find my happiness switch. I guess it is the path to work out what is preventing me from being happy.

Not sure how that works with missing people. Grief is a goodbye that has not been accepted. Or so, or I don’t give a shit I just miss my mother a lot. Next 25th it the 7,5 years anniversary of her death. No I don’t count the days, it’s just that I count my sober months and this 25th is my 6th month sober. And I quit at her dying day. It just feels like I have to go through it all again.

I am happy that I quit but today is difficult. I feel like I am floating through life and it is time to start filling it in.

I want: to not hurt, not be sad, not be missing my mom.

I need: to start taking some responsibility and push myself a little, and it is time for that now. To sleep. Had a bad night again last night. Powerful dreaming. Possibly due to the Calcium I had been taking or the whatever brand dream tea. Which I don’t believe in specifically but it tastes good. Maybe I should believe in it and I will take a book to my bed to write in when I wake up.

I take: magnesium in Schuessler tissue salt against chocolate cravings and a twitching eyelid, inability to relax, feeling powerless, dealing with stress from society and haha… addictions. Let’s see what it does. It is also for falling asleep quickly and it resets your idea of sleeping time to what it should be what possibly causes me to be very tired since the sun went down.

Don’t feel like writing. Need to sleep. Have a nice day/evening/night.

 

 

When I drank

When I drank I used to feel omnipotent and drank the awkward feelings away. That was unreal.

Now I don’t drink anymore I am starting to recognise my strengths and weaknesses. I am not almighty anymore but it is real.

And it is an odd place to have a job interview from. But well, this is how it is. The sun is shining and I am happy that I quit. Jeeeez, that funny job interview would have rocked my boat earlier. Still working on letting it settle in a good way but I do think it is exactly what needed to happen. 🙂

I am happy that I quit because I am starting to feel peace in being me. Because when drinking I would have never met you in the sober blogosphere, never had to look for answers to my questions about life, never have had met the store man who seriously helps me with sorting out issues now. We speak on a weekly basis for about 4-5 hours on life, development and spirituality. It’s real good fun. 🙂 Talking about personal development and laughing about our own inability to actually walk our own spiritual talk is just very funny and relaxing and I guess healing. 🙂

I want: to sit in the sun and not worry.

I need: to send out 2 applications later in the day, hmmm, if I had done that yesterday when it was raining I could have gone out now. Hmmmm. Slowly, slowly, my ‘shoulds’ are starting to turn into smarter time management. There is still a lot of apprehension in me for doing stuff in general but the energy for starting things has actually come back with the seaweed I eat for the Iodine. And when I plan a walk on a day it actually happens at 14:00 hours now instead of just half an hour before the sun sets. 🙂 I go to bed earlier and wake up with the alarm clock every few days 15 minutes earlier. I am aiming for 7:30 tomorrow. And I guess not taking the beta blockers helps because the leaflet inside said they make you go tired and numb, fat, sleepless and lacking energy in general. Good pills :-/ Stupid trap I fell in. I am actually still angry at the doctor who prescribed them. Need to work on that because it somehow keeps parts of me from moving forward. Not sure how that works. 🙂 Another 12 step thing (working on resentment) that pops up naturally in the process of getting clear after having been addicted. I really think it is funny how that works – obviously the 12 steps are a ‘natural procedure’ that comes with getting clean and clear. I think I’ll do a post on that some day. But not now. Bright but still cold February sun is calling!

Hope you have a nice Sunday and enjoy being sober and/or clean. 🙂

xx, Feeling

The actual interview

2 Days ago I was invited for a job interview that was ‘magically’ arranged for me (in the post a few days back). However I went with some hesitation because I had seen a photo from the owner and in her I (thought to) recognise that specific toughness that women in the branch I work in have. They are tough, they work hard, work late, decide within seconds, communicate in short sentences and meet their deadlines. Deadlines almost every day. It’s a seasonal business.

Our first contact was cold but with a ‘lets be polite’ touch to it. I immediately felt her boundaries and felt that she had no ‘entry’ as a human, tough women and pretty rigid. She immediately dove in for the kill by letting go of any of the polite structures that are designed for conversations like this and saying ‘you tell me about you’.

So I told her about me and I was not out there with enthusiasm in telling me about my ‘failed’ business. I felt she was planning to discard me when until I said: ‘Well, I know it is more or less the rule in a job interview that people tell you how great they are. But I can’t because I do not exactly feel that way. I had a business and then life happened and I am in a position where I am still dealing with the consequences of that.’

Q: ‘So what was the main reason your business went wrong?’

A: It is a combination of quite a few things obviously but mainly I think if I had been less a perfectionist and more hands on, that would have made a difference.’

I could see her settling down and becoming less uncomfortable with the idea that this indeed was not a normal job interview.

Q: So what is your best character trait, when it comes to work.

A: I think my ability to analyse things and come up with the real solution.

Q: And your worst?

A: That indeed would be perfection, not being content until every tiny detail is fixed. That can slow me down.

Q: So how would that work out in this job?

A: In this job I would need to pay attention to the planning and deadlines and I think that would I start here, that is something I would like to have help with until I am settled. The jobs I have done before all dealt with only one product range at the time and here they will be mingled so I would need to prioritize. Untill I am really settled in I would like help with that. Further: because I am a perfectionist and know my job I will most likely bring down the workload by making sure there are less ‘tries’ and ‘samples’ needed before we decide on production quality.’

Q: How do you deal with criticism?

A: Do you want the real answer or the job interview preferred answer?

Q: I think I want the real answer, yes.

A: I dislike criticism. I am ok with instructions, no problem. And I get it that people can get upset if things go wrong. But if instructions are meant to hurt, or improve the way somebody that gives them feels about him/herself I very much dislike it.

Q: That is fair enough. Criticism should not be meant to hurt. So what happens if I wake up in the morning at the wrong side of the bed, everything gets worse from there on, those things sometimes happen… And finally I end up at your desk and you did something stupid, might be minor, might be bigger but I, having a bad day, BLOW UP and let go of some steam. How would you react?

A: Again, I think it is important that I give you the real answer. I dislike that. I would tell you that I am open to your instructions but that I would prefer you to deal with your bad mood in another way than having it out on me.

Q: But you know, people can have a bad day.

A: Yes, that’s possible. And I am willing to help if there are problems but I do not appreciate being at the receiving end. I know me.

When I write it down it is actually a very strange and rather aggressive job interview. This was all said in peace, there was no open war, but there was a meeting, not really clashing, but meeting of energies.

Well, I could not have done it differently. If somebody in an interview comes up and actually says: ‘I will be very critical and I am moody and will abuse you when the shit hits the fan – what am I to say? Yes, please walk over me? It is not my function to criticise her there but it is not my function to be a stepping stone either. I want to contribute AND keep my right to be me and vulnerable with that too.

We shall see. When (more like ‘if’) I am invited again I think we need to really speak. The person who did the job had to leave because she was not functioning well and I believe the owner is still pretty much upset about having to fire somebody – her questions and reaction seem to come from that spot where it hurts. 😦 The person that got the job finally turned it down because she could not get the working hours aligned with the kids and daycare and stuff. My friend, who had applied for the job in the first place was pretty pissed of that she was not invited to a second interview. Maybe she still will. Funny is that she had EXACTLY the same opinion about the owner as I did: tough, no entry, rigid.

Let’s see. 🙂 I am curious. The next message will be in a week. It can go either way. We did not speak technique so she obviously thought me saying: ‘I am in a bit of a strange place but I can do the job fine.’ was ok. 🙂

I am happy that I quit. I can now feel that this is just how it went and not hide in shame because I was not perfect. I start telling people that I have not been drinking for almost half a year now (4 days to go) and nobody gives a shit. Funny. Did I tell you that I drank 3 zips of green tea this week? By accident. I am caffeine and theine free too. It was AWFULL! As bad as your first sip of coffee or licking an ashtray. Brrrrrr. I would not think I would my taste would restore to that kids-state of being. Funny too. I spit it out, so awful, I thought it had gone bad and then I realised that I had the wrong tea. Amazing what a body does and how it works. 🙂 Exciting all to find out.

I want: to stay at home and think.

I need: to go to a friend because I said I would. But she’s pregnant so, no drinking pressure there.

I take: Schuessler salt against throat ache.

Free online 10 day EFT seminar

I’m not sure what to think of it yet but over here you can sign up for a 10 days free online seminar on EFT or ‘tapping’ –  a small excercise that is said to ‘rewire the brain’ and in such a way help people overcome obstacles in life more easily.

I’ve posted this here because I have heard a few people in the sober blogosphere speak of this technique – maybe you want to check it out for yourself? I’m not sure if I’m gonna be in.

Please let me know what you think if you know more about this technique!

xx, Feeling

YouTube rules

Hi, just another pearl from the YouTube world. Not sure if I like the speed at which he speaks but I appreciate what he says about addiction.

And I found the answer to the difference between body, soul and spirit that I have been looking for. Well, the one that says the same thing that I thought so now I know this one is true ;-). And following that, the other ones are not of course…. 🙂

I am happy that I quit because it helps me find stuff easier because I just follow my hunches and bam! There it is. The fog in my mind is back (back on sugar) but the fog in my ‘aura’ for lack of a better word, is clearing up slowly and steadily.

I want: to go to bed and so does the cat. She keeps on calling me and walking me to the bedroom :-). It was 5:30 this morning so it is about time.

I need: to go to bed. And go easier on the sugar. Not sure how to do that without forcing myself. Don’t want to have to do more things. So I guess I’ld better go get some insights that help me stop.

Have a nice evening/day! I am happy that you quit because that makes the world a better place. And if you haven’t yet: I can tell you it is real cool, inner growth is I don’t know, just pops up naturally now. I wasted a shitload of money on therapy (hi and sorry, not that I found it a waste but if I had been sober… well, you know.. 🙂 ) that I could have used 10 times better if I had been free already. But I was not. And now I am. Which is GOOD.  🙂