Why run a bath…

It struck me today when I sat down in the bath: Why run a bath when I dislike the person in it?

It got me to thinking about being negative about myself and trying to let go of the negative self talk and self-hatred. Feels strange, unusual. But then: I’ve been in the strange country before, I’ve quit drinking. How can this be worse?

It is scary. If I become valuable people will be hurting me again. If I have no value I can not be hurt. That is the script that keeps me walking the negative path. I don’t want to go there anymore. It is not helping and it is killing my energy and cutting of my internal voice. I don’t want to be that brat from the former post. Life is short. I should use the time I have and not waste it with fighting with my spirit.

So I picket up Louise Hay’s book that I found in a wonderful 2nd hand store yesterday. It’s on listening to my inner voice. One of you informed me of it. Not sure if I did get exactly the book you advised, or actually if I did get the writer you advised but it is on listening to your inner voice to heal yourself. I am very curious. It is finally time to read something like this. ๐Ÿ™‚ And I think I know no other people who do the talking with the inner voice like I do. That might not be true but it is just something well, people donยดt speak of it. And when I do people seem to think I am weird. So it would be cool to read from somebody that does the listing and possibly the talking.

Iยดm going out for a walk. My inner voice is nagging. Thatยดs because she is right and I stalling. Hmmm. I like this. Just listening. Gives peace.

Happy that I quit. Very happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

What I want: don’t know. I am content I guess. ๐Ÿ™‚

What I need: to get some fresh air.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Why run a bath…

  1. However negative the self talk and however strong the feelings of self hatred, we mostly have *some* feelings of self-care. Putting on a sweater or a coat when it is cold, looking before we cross the road, running that bath. We take care of ourselves all the time, without really thinking of it. If we are more mindful of these “self care” moments, we can nurture those positive feelings, cultivate and grow that attitude of self care to something bigger and stronger.
    I hope you enjoyed your walk ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, I did enjoy my walk. And indeed, self care is there and I can approach it from the other end as well: being more mindfull of what I am already doing.
      Quitting alcohol addiction was/is good practise for self care. If I had not taken care of every uncomfortable moment in the first weeks I don’t think I would have gotten this far. And that would be sad because, as I believe Iceman18 said: ‘I might have some drunk evenings left in me but I am not sure if I have some quitting moments left in me too.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ Wise words.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s