It struck me today when I sat down in the bath: Why run a bath when I dislike the person in it?
It got me to thinking about being negative about myself and trying to let go of the negative self talk and self-hatred. Feels strange, unusual. But then: I’ve been in the strange country before, I’ve quit drinking. How can this be worse?
It is scary. If I become valuable people will be hurting me again. If I have no value I can not be hurt. That is the script that keeps me walking the negative path. I don’t want to go there anymore. It is not helping and it is killing my energy and cutting of my internal voice. I don’t want to be that brat from the former post. Life is short. I should use the time I have and not waste it with fighting with my spirit.
So I picket up Louise Hay’s book that I found in a wonderful 2nd hand store yesterday. It’s on listening to my inner voice. One of you informed me of it. Not sure if I did get exactly the book you advised, or actually if I did get the writer you advised but it is on listening to your inner voice to heal yourself. I am very curious. It is finally time to read something like this. 🙂 And I think I know no other people who do the talking with the inner voice like I do. That might not be true but it is just something well, people don´t speak of it. And when I do people seem to think I am weird. So it would be cool to read from somebody that does the listing and possibly the talking.
I´m going out for a walk. My inner voice is nagging. That´s because she is right and I stalling. Hmmm. I like this. Just listening. Gives peace.
Happy that I quit. Very happy. 🙂
What I want: don’t know. I am content I guess. 🙂
What I need: to get some fresh air.