Yesterday I found out that I had been expecting ‘feeling good’ over the work I put into being sober; ‘I guess I have been expecting that with work comes reward and the reward will make me feel good. But the reward of the emotional work I do is clarity. ‘
During these last months I learned that in my life I was looking for quick and painfree happyness and alcohol was the answer. Realising now that the question ‘give me painfree happyness’ is not what the question should be and the answer be it alcohol or instant feel good reward is not or not per se the answer. The answer is just (?) clarity and growth.
Much like this Dirk-Jan comic: