Car driving backwards

Had a strange dream last night. Dreamed that I got in the old Volvo of my parents, leaving for an appointment in Belgium where I absolutely did not want to go. The car was stuffed with dirt, rubbish, empty cups and all. And it was weird; the steering gear and the break etc were at the passenger side where I was. And suddenly the car started driving by itself, backwards. It was very foggy outside and the windows were fogged up so I could not see anything apart from 2 small windows next to the mirrors. I could see that I was at a parking lot with row of very, very expensive cars that I could only avoid while steering. I realised that I was either going to hit a car, hurts somebody or hurt myself so: Not Good. I thought of jumping out but I had to go to Belgium and I felt responsible to fix the dangerous situation with the car. Sidetrack thought: I felt the car went bad because I got in.

Tried to break but the break did not work. Checked if the car had changed to automatic in my dream. Had not. Tried to shove it in another gear without using the clutch. Did not help. Tried if the gas and break had been switched, did not help. Then I put on the lights and the hooted and steered while driving backwards. I somehow missed all the cars and suddenly I was on the road. That’s where the car started to drive forwards again. I was happy it was still early in the morning, hardly any traffic. I finally parked the car when it was tired (?) and went into a shopping mall.

I was supposed to go on a business trip but I was still wearing my pyjamas (which is funny because I never do). So I walked into this mall and remembered I had forgotten to lock the car. Walked outside and had forgotten where I parked it. That is very out of character as well. An old classmate turned up (she currently works at the factory of my used to be favourite beer brand) and she found my car, It happened to be in front of the house of my parents so I went in.

It did not look at all like the real house of my parents. It was a beautiful old city house but nasty, couldn’t find anything and it was dirty. That is funny because up to 2 weeks ago that would never have bothered me, let alone come up in a dream. My father had been drunk and peed next to the toilet all over the toilet paper. Not sure where my mom was. My brother was there but he was not helping at all and blaming me for being unorganized, walking around and muttering under his breath and disrespecting me as usual. I so did not want to go to Belgium because I felt that the customer was not going to agree with my business proposal anyhow and I felt I should not be driving a car that is so dangerous: all in all, I should not go but I felt obliged. I could not get my stuff together and everything distracted and annoyed me. Felt like pffffflllllllll.

I’ll take this dream mostly WYSYWYG, I am me, the car is my life, and The Others are the fogg, the booze addicted world is the fogg. I guess it all sounds very much like how I perceive myself and the world. And: if I would not have felt obliged non of this would have happened. Please leave me a comment if you want to shed your light on it.

Still feel like pffffffffllllllll. Did loose 2 kilo’s though! Happy that I quit.

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One thought on “Car driving backwards

  1. Pingback: Using recovery to ‘not live’ | feelingmywaybackintolife

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