My brain is doing overtime, running, running, running. Very uncomfortable. Normally I’ld drown all this frantic activity in booze. Now I should either be sleeping, doing yoga, meditating or whatever that brings me to a more comfortable place. Why don’t I? How many reasons do I need to do exactly not what I need to do? Feel like I don’t deserve to be nice to me. Major trap. Back to feeling stupid. But happy that I’m free.
Aaah, yeah, because I don’t crave drinking I think I’m ready and in the clear and expect, no DEMAND to feel better than I do now. Instant gratification, what is the number of that trap?